energy

One

The following dream is a good representation of my current life. I’ve broken down the meaning at the end.

Sunday, December 4, 2015

I was standing in the office of a former employer hoping to get hired back into the company. He handed me a photograph of an airport, the type that only allowed the flights of small planes. The background was thick with trees and the on the side closest was a field of green grass. From the camera’s view I could just see the long stretch of concrete that made up the runway. At the top corner of the page was scrawled $75,000.

“I need you to go look at this job and tell me if we can replace the runway for that amount,” my former boss said.

“Where is it?” I asked.

“Just go out to the road here,” he pointed to the door outside, “and follow it. It goes right by the airport. If you get me the information back by the end of the day you have the job.”

I handed the photograph back to him and left his office. It was early morning, and the sun had yet to rise. I walked over to my car which had a bicycle hooked onto the back. Since I had become such a health nut, I decided it would be better and more fun to ride the bike out to the site and take a look.

The bicycle had one wheel like a unicycle; however, attached between the seat and wheel was a bar that stretched out in front and curved upwards leading to a set of handlebars. I hopped on the seat and began peddling down the road, briefly battling to get the bike stable.

Once I had the bike in control I began to take in my surroundings. Even though it was dark I could still see quite a few yards around me. The road was smooth and narrow, lined with trees on the left and right, although the trees to the right were set further off from the road where there were some homes and small businesses. The sound of something bouncing through the woods to my left caused me to stop. Soon a deer jumped out into the middle of the road, spotting me; it came to a stop and stared to see what I was going to do. I was more shocked than the deer because of its deformity. The deer which, I soon saw was an antelope, had a normal head and small horns but a tiny body connected to a single leg in the middle of its torso.

Seconds after it had stopped, the antelope continued across the road to the right, bounding away on that single leg. Across the street was a small store, still closed, that the antelope ran down to. At the back of the store grew a short field of grass up to the trees. The antelope stopped at the edge of the grass and collapsed. He curled the single leg up under himself and rested. I stood there in the road staring at the animal, wondering how it could survive.

I had a job to do so I continued biking on down the road, leaving the antelope behind. Some time passed and daylight filled the sky. I was enjoying the biking, the solitude and the environment I was traveling through to the point that I had not realized it was late afternoon. I began to panic, wondering if I had passed the site, and hoping someone could give me directions, I stopped at a small convenience store to my right.

In the parking lot a mother and daughter were coming out of the store. I pulled up next to their car as they were getting in and asked if they knew where I could find the airport. The mother informed me that I had passed it many miles back. My job depended on my getting the information back to my boss that afternoon. By the time I could get back to the job site, my company’s office would be closed. I would have to make up the time by biking back as fast as possible.

I was just about to take off when I heard a couple voices calling, “Daddy” from behind. I turned to see my two sons, who are adults now, but in the dream were around five years of age. I explained to them what I had to do, and we needed to hurry back. My so-called hurrying was moving only as fast as my slowest son.

After a short time both began to whimper about the tiredness of their small legs trying to keep up. Both could not ride on the bike with me, so I figured I could carry one on my back at a time, allowing him to rest and then switch out every so often.

Coming to a stop, I realized I had my backpack on. I knew then it would be impossible to carry either one of them. I walked the bike and the boys to the side of the road, and we sat down in the grass to rest. I knew that by the time I got back to my car it would be late evening and my chances of getting the job were zero. My sons lay down in the grass one on each side of me and fell asleep. Soon after I awoke.

Defining the dream
Everything in an unconscious dream is a symbol to the clue of that dreams meaning. Every symbol also has several answers. How do you know which to choose from? Think of it as a mental puzzle. There are multiple on-line dream dictionaries, I just happen to like, dreammoods.com and use it 90% of the time. If I cannot find an answer there, I use dreamhawk.com and/or curiousdreamer.com.

I actually copy and paste the entire meaning of the dream. Then I go through each line and delete those that are not in my personality or have nothing to do with the current dream and keep what corresponds to the other symbols of that dream; it does take some time. If you have the patience to read through, the meaning of this dream and its breakdown (in order) is below. Regular print is copy and paste, edited from dreammoods.com. Italics in parentheses are my notes.

To stay true to my audience, I’m not being totally forthcoming in defining this dream. A few meanings I kept out because they are very personal, and I’m not ready or wanting to divulge them here.

Work- Dreaming that you are at your former work suggests that there is an old lesson that you need to learn and apply to your current situation.

Photograph- To see a photograph in your dream means that you are clinging on to some false hope. Consider who or what is on the photo. The image may be trying to take you back to a particular moment in time. (The airport in the photo was one my parents lived by when I was 14. Check out my editorial in, “Day of the dragonfly”).

Numbers-To see numbers in your dream symbolize that you need to evaluate a situation more thoroughly. Numbers also carry much personal significance to only you.

(always break numbers down, 75,000)
7- The number seven may also refer to the seven chakras (I need to be more in tune with my energies).

5- The umber five may reflect a change in your path or that you need to alter your course.

0- Zero symbolizes emptiness. You are experiencing a void in your life. Your actions have been counterproductive.

(add up each digit of numbers)
7+5+0+0+0+0= 12
12- Represents cycles and repetition.

1+2=3- Three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, creativity, energy, self-exploration and experience. (a good description of my energies)

1- Signifies solitude or loneliness. (The one road I traveled, the bike with one wheel, the Antelope with one leg).

Bicycle- (the reason I called this a bicycle and not a unicycle, is due to it had handlebars). To dream that you are riding a bicycle signifies your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. If you have difficulties riding the bicycle, (one wheel) then it suggests that you are experiencing anxieties. You need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation.

Road- (this fits the description of the road in my dream). To see a road in your dream refers to your sense of direction and how you are pursuing your goals. If the road is dark, then it reflects the controversial or more frightening choices which you have made or are making. If the road is smooth and bordered by trees or flowers, then it denotes a steady progress and steady climb up the social ladder. If the road is straight and narrow, then it means that your path to success is going as planned. To see an unknown road in your dream represents a path that has not been ventured. You are setting a new precedence for something.

Antelope- To see an antelope in your dream suggests that your high ambitions will only be achieved through a great expenditure of energy, (the 7 chakras). You will experience much success as a result of your dedication.

Children- To dream that your own grown children are still very young indicates that you still see them as young and dependent. You want to feel needed and significant.

Drunken Jack

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

One discrepancy I see in my blog as a whole relates to purpose of expandurmind. I have always stated that this blog is about me, my dreams and their effects on my life, although this was only a part within the whole when I began. My idea then was to make it a combination of my dreams and science-fiction stories I had written. The second post was actually two dreams I had formed into one, about a year before I began the blog. The purpose was to get this published. I did send it out to two publishers, but neither was interested. They never said why.

Friday, June 18, 2010; 6:27 PM, I put it in expandurmind.com as the second post. What caught me by surprise was the response I received in the following weeks, not from my story but from the other dreams. At the time, the only ones to know about my blog were friends and co-workers. They all thought it had been a great idea. Their word of mouth along with mine caused an audience explosion, and the numbers steadily rose, as they still do. Subsequently, I knew where I wanted to take this.

Since then it is the only thing I have focused on, and it has worked out very well, thank you. For those of you who have been here from the beginning, you may see some changes in my older posts. Because of newer members who have joined, I want to tidy the place up a bit. The only real change going back is to make the posts easier to read, such as larger fonts and spaces between lines. One major change is throwing out the second post. I will keep a link to the original story so no one will think I am trying to pull a fast one.

The second part, “Expelling Air”, which is an actual lucid dream will stay on the initial date. The first part which I re-wrote as a science-fiction story will be taken out. To keep expandurmind.com consistent, here is the original out-of-body experience I encountered.

Painting by,
Margaret H. Vincent

Early to mid 1990’s; (OBE)

I stared at a door in front me. Looking behind me, was a sidewalk running along a busy city street. Since I was here, I decided to go in. It was a bar. The place was quiet with dim lighting and a jukebox. I saw two people over at the bar, a bartender and waitress. In the far, corner were two booths, one with an elderly man; his head slumped against the wall and an almost empty pitcher of beer in front of him. He seemed to be passed out so I took the booth across from him. The lone waitress came over and set a bottle of beer in front of me without having to ask. I was going to like the out-of-body experience.

Is the old man O.K.?” I asked her, pointing at the man in the next booth whom I had not seen move at all since I sat down.

Oh yeah,” she smiled, “that’s Drunken Jack. He drinks until he passes out then in about an hour or two he’ll wake up and go home. Don’t worry,” she said, “He won’t bite.” At that, she left me alone.

I found myself staring over at Drunken Jack in his booth, picking out things such as his glass or the napkin holder. I had been staring when suddenly I spotted bubble inches away from Jack’s face. It seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

The object dropped to the table making a loud noise as it struck solidly, informing me it was not a bubble. At that moment, Drunken Jack popped out of his slumber. With a dazed and confused look in his face, he tried sitting up. After briefly looking around, he quickly grabbed the sides of the table in both his hands, causing, what I call a marble to roll around the table’s top. Frantic, he released one side of the table and scrambled to catch it, knocking over his pitcher, spilling what little beer was left into his lap. He had the marble clutched tightly holding his left hand while still holding the table with his right.

Are you O.K.?” I asked.

Wavering back and forth in his seat, he tried to focus but found it difficult. He shook his head a few times. Taking his gaze from me to the surroundings of the bar, he seemed not to know where he was.

What sort of vehicle is this? It moves in a strange way.” He said, looking at me. I gave him a moment to collect himself. I hoped even in his state of mind, a little sense would come back, and I would not have to be bothered with him. Still clutching the table and his marble, he asked, “Are we in a ground or space transport?”

You’re the one traveling man, whether it’s ground or space only you would know that,” I answered. The old man looked rough and worn; life and time had not been good to him so, I left my booth and walked over to his. I pulled a handful of napkins from the dispenser. Throwing a few on the table to soak up his drink, I placed the rest in front of him.

Here, you might want to throw some on your lap.” I turned to go wanting to see more than the inside of a bar while in the dimension.

Please, stay,” he said, “This transports movements throw me off balance.”

O.K.” I answered, thinking, I’ll sit here long enough to finish my drink than act as though I’m going for another and slip out the door.

I sat across from him as he once again studied his surroundings. The waitress had said earlier that he came here often, but right now he seemed to be unfamiliar with the place.

You said, I was the only one traveling, so you’re aware of where I’m from?”

Well,” I stated, “I’m not too sure where you’re from but any more drinks, and I can only guess where you’ll be headed.”

He slowly released his grip on the table and peered into the now empty pitcher, while eying the bottom, he took in several deep sniffs.

I feel as though I’m in a state of constant shifting. Is this artificial gravity… perhaps it’s not working right?”

Gravity’s just fine, maybe you should take a break for a while.” I reached over and took the pitcher from him before the last few drops ended up in my lap.  

A break from what? I just got here” he said.

From your drinking.” He seemed to become even more curious about the pitcher, eying it with great wonder. 

Is my shifting caused by this drink?” 

Yeah, and I’d say anymore, and you’ll be shifting all afternoon.” 

Remarkable!” he reasoned with wide blood shot eyes, “A culture with a drink that allows dimensional transference?” He lifted the marble he had in his grasp in front of his face and shook his head. “And we thought we were advanced. What would it be worth to you for me to get the recipe for this, that is if you have any knowledge of the ingredients? A trade of knowledge perhaps.” Although he still fought to keep his balance, he babbled on as though he were sober.   

You seem to be doing OK.” I said, “So I’ll just mosey on outta here.”

I got up to leave and he rushed from the booth, “Wait!” he yelled.

He lost his balance and before I could intervene, he fell to the floor, the marble rolling away from him. I saw that he was not hurt then reached out to pick up his marble, but he let out a scream, “No, don’t touch it!” Like a man crawling from a burning building, he slid across the floor and grasped it in both hands, then lay there clutching the thing. The waitress walked over,

Jack, Rooney says you’re cut off and need to go home.” I took Rooney for the bartender leaning over the counter shaking his head.

I don’t think he can go anywhere just yet,” I replied. “Don’t worry.” I reached down to help the old man up. He still held tightly to his marble, unfortunately most his other ones he had lost long ago. I helped him back into the booth then sat myself across from him. I downed what was left of my beer and ordered another before the waitress went back to flirt with Rooney.

You would think,” he started impatiently, “that a civilization that can create a drinkable dimensional fluid could have its gravity generators run a little more smoothly.”

Is that your way of saying thank you for picking your rear off the floor? Then you’re welcome,” I said.

Thank you. I apologize but I promised my associates I would be brief and return right away.” He peered into his hands.

You must understand it has taken years to develop another Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb. The last mover lost his in some stupid game of chance, so he says.” He was still staring at his hands making sure it was really there.

I had no idea what he was talking about and figured he did not either or maybe he was just pulling my chain to cover his embarrassment for spilling his beer.

Years?” I asked, “Those things are turned out by the millions every day.” His head popped up as if he had heard a gunshot.

Impossible!” he said in defense, “The technology for locking in super strings can not be done over night.”

The waitress returned with my beer, then returned to her uninterested bartender.

Whatever bud,” I said picking up the bottle. “You stick to your solids,” pointing the marble in his hands. “And we’ll stick to our fluids.” I turned up the bottle and downed a quarter of it.

How long?” he asked.

I’m sorry?”

How long until the fluid takes effect.” He motioned his hands at the bottle.

Not long enough.” I answered.

A trade then. I can make it worth your while.”

I gave him a strange look. Since I first came over to play the good Samaritan, I had been playing babysitter.

Of course,” I said replying to his question, “Why everyone here knows the formula, see here.” I picked up my bottle and held it up in front of him pointing to the label. “Ingredients.” He went to take the bottle with his free hand but I pulled it back. “You wanted to make it worth my while, I believe.”

I could trade you information on other dimensions I have visited.”

So he was a traveler like myself. I am always interested in others who travel out-of-body, so I decided to stay. Even though he struggled to speak through his drunkenness, he seemed quite passionate in his effort to obtain his goal.

I don’t think so,” I answered, “I already have so much information, more would only bore me. How about telling me what’s up with that marble of yours.” I really wanted to know where the marble had come from and why he held onto it so dearly.

Marble?” he asked.

The glass ball in your hand.”

He held the marble between his fingers up to the light. It was roughly an inch and a half in diameter, clear and flawless. I reached out to touch it and the old man snatched it away.

Don’t touch it,” he snapped, “your energy pattern mixed with mine will break down the outside barrier causing it to free the dimensional energy waves.”

Dimensional energy waves?” I asked. He released his grip on the table and made a half effort to sit up straight,

You know, dimensional energy wave patterns.” he said.

Sorry,” I replied, “I guess I’m not up on all that.

He took a glance at his surroundings, I could tell he was having a difficult time focusing his eyes on any one thing.

But I’m sure your culture is familiar with atoms and super-strings?” he said, “You’re aware of the energy just one atom holds.”

Sure, we’ve got weapons that use them.”

Weapons!” This seemed to sober him up a bit, “Does your culture have a death wish? I hope for your sake there are very few.”

Yea, we’ve got one or two I believe.”

One is still too many but anyhow. You’re aware of the make-up of dimensions, right?”

To be quite honest,” I told him, “I’m not up on the make-up but I seem to travel between them qiut well.”

Ah.” he responded, “A novice.”

Not really.”

O.K., let me see if I can explain, look at the size of your form. Now think of the number of atoms that make you up, that’s a lot of energy there. A lot of energy in one place, and not just you but the surrounding others. The table here, the glass, the floor the walls, all have this energy, it has to be stored somewhere. That’s where dimensions come in, like a battery, there are different cells inside to spread out and store the energy. Different cells, same energy. Different dimensions, but all the same energy. Your energy pattern is not only here but in infinite other dimensions as well. Waves of this energy flow back and forth though these dimensions. This explains why atoms seem to disappear and reappear. When the energy waves flow though this dimension you see them, when it flows though others you don’t.”

For an old man who looked as if he were running on just two or three brain cells, Drunken Jack seemed to be making sense. You see, beyond our reality there is only one true universe, like a battery. Inside exist a possibly infinite number of cells we call dimensions. All the energy in each atom that makes you here, also makes you in many more of these dimensions.”

You’re telling me that at this moment, a million or more other me’s are doing the same thing right now?”

No,” he replied, “That’s not how it works. Look,” he said patiently, “Every particle that makes you up is shared energy with your counterparts. You share the same soul but each has his own spirit.”

Until now, I had been slumped over the table with my head resting in the palm of my hand propped up on my elbow. My head went up at his mention of the spirit and I had to interrupt him.

Souls, spirits!” I exclaimed, “I thought we were talking about energy and physics, physical things.”

The soul and spirit are physical things. They are just two of the many types of energy levels. One being inanimate energy, that which binds together to form the table, walls, rocks and the like. Then there’s the energy of the soul… it gives life. Then there is the energy of the spirit. It separates us, makes us individuals.”

I think I understand but you said all of my counterparts, were not doing the same thing. If we are all the same energy then how could we be different?”

Like the energy in the battery, it’s the same energy but can run more than just the music box, got it? You may be living a parallel life in a few others but in many more you could be a firefighter, a pilot, a Starship captain or you may even be dead.”

Dead!”

Yes, or perhaps you haven’t even been born yet. You could even be so alien in some, that your nothing more than a puddle of intelligent slime. You all share the same energy of the soul but each of you has the higher energy of the spirit. Making you all individuals.”

So what does all this have to do with your marble?” I asked.

First of all it’s not called a marble, it is a Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb.”

Marble, is a lot easier to remember.” I said, chuckling. He stared at me briefly, unamused.

Dimensions coexist, energy waves separate them,” he held the marble or Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb back up to the light above the table. “It takes years for us to collect bits of these waves called super-strings. We as solid bodies cannot travel from one dimension to the other but our individual consciousness can, due to the shared energy. This Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb, is packed with an infinite amount of super-strings of each dimension. This allows the conscious mind to pass over to our counterparts.”

If only the soul can travel between dimensions,” I asked, “then how is your Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb here also?”

Its waves are Harmonized to my consciousness. The orb stays back in my dimension unless, like now, my consciousness is fully in charge.”

Why the big deal if I touch it?”

Depends,” he said, “should you and I touch it together, the energy pattern becomes unbalanced and the dimensional waves break free. I awaken back in my body and wait years for another to be built for me. Should you or anyone else other than my counterpart touch it alone, the Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb balances to your waves and stays with you. Now how about those ingredients.”

Sure.” I said, “but hold it up to the light again.”

Jack eyed me with suspicion. I held up my hands then laid my hands palms down on the table. Drunken Jack held the Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb in his palm under the light.

Don’t worry my friend,” said Jack, “The day will come when your people too will have something similar.”

Not anytime soon, I’m sure.” I said.

My people have a saying, ‘If a man receives only one gift in his life, let it be patience’.”

Yuh, mine also have a saying.” I replied.

What is that?” asked drunken Jack.

The hand is quicker than the eye.” At that moment two things took place.

Drunken Jack looked at me for clarification on what I had just said and in that same moment, my right hand jumped up, slapping the bottom of his. The Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb, popped into the air just in time for my left hand to catch it. I became engulfed in deja-vu, in addition to experiencing memories of the past and a foreshadowing my future.

Then as quickly as it had come, the feeling drained away with a tingle throughout my body. What my mind played back seemed like hours but I realized that only a couple of seconds had passed. I looked back to Jack; his expression changed from shock to that of one who was slipping into drunkenness. In only a few seconds he was back to the man whom I had first seen when I had entered the bar. His head slumped back on the wall and he began a light snore.

Looks like drunken Jack is out for the evening.” I looked up to see the waitress back at the table, “Would you like anything else?”

No thank you,” I said, “I’ve got some exploring to do.”

I looked into my hand, in it sat a flawless piece of glass, or a Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb. At the time, I didn’t know which.

I stared into the orb and darkness over took me. I opened my eyes to find I was back in my bed in my reality but no Dimension Harmonizing Locker Orb to be found.

 

The Pancake People

The Pancake People

From the age of 8 or 9, I began keeping track of my life and my dreams through journals. At age fifteen, I came home from school to find that my birth mother had thrown them all out.

Boys don’t keep diaries,” she said. Truth is she did not want anyone else reading the things she had done. The very next day, I started all over again.

From there, four years of journals suddenly disappeared at the same time I broke up with a live-in girlfriend. Later, seven years of journals went the way of my first marriage. After that, I just stopped writing.

(“Do you see a pattern here?” My wife asks, as she edits my work. I simply shake my head in frustration.

Do not get me wrong, I’ve lost a few as well.” I reply.)

In the early to mid nineties, the journal bug caught me again.

In the late nineties, I discovered computers. At home, all my writing went into the digital format. Outside I always kept a spiral notebook for writing. I would usually transfer this over to the PC. As a novice on computers, I knew about keeping the maintenance up on them; however, I misinterpreted the true meaning of formatting and went to clean up my hard-drive; it worked! Now I became my journals’ own worst nightmare.

Thankfully, a close friend of my father’s whose personal business had been computer programming and repair, took me under his wing. From then on I have praised technology and learned a lot more. While the cloud was nothing more to look up at, I found the haven of on-line storage. This has been a blessing.

It further renewed my energy for journal keeping. This also was a part of my decision to start my on-line journal. Even if the web went down, my worlds are safe for a period in the minds of my readers.

A lot of dreams have slipped through my fingers each time a journal is lost. I am sure they are in the thousands. The biggest part I missed of my journals, are the written pages about my children growing up. Thankfully, I have my memories, and some stick in there harder than others.

Like the time my daughter, then 4 years old, learned to cut her own hair and earned the name, “Spike” for several weeks and at 5, when she had the habit of running into things and a friend gave her the name, “Bumpy-head.” It was funny, especially on her first day of school. I was informed that when the children were giving out their names, my daughter added Bumpy-head in hers.

Among other memories that have not faded, is that of my oldest son Jonathan then 7, bursting through the front door. In the dead heat of summer, he had run home from nearly a mile away.

What’s wrong?” I asked in a panic.

A girl threatened to hit me with a bat if I did not kiss her!” he said panting through his little sweaty face.

Oh! So did you kiss her?” I asked laughing.

Nooo! I ran home.”

Of course after his first kiss, it was hard keeping him home.

I would have to say the best one were both sons, Daniel around 9 and Jonathan about 10. For several hours they pulled off having me and my wife believe the two of them were telepathic. Trust me, it was very well played.

Like any day during the life of William Carroll, my out-of-body and astral travels are just another experience etched in my memories. Sometime ago, my youngest son asked me to place in my blog one of his favorites, (I had always shared my travels with my children); he calls it ‘the pancake people’.

I have wanted to publish it many times but the problem lies in the ending of the event. For about fifteen years I have tried to comprehend what took place. The inner action between me and the being was so alien, that even the concept of describing it has been impossible.

Mid-90’s astral travel:

In my astral form, I came aware inside what I believe to be a tan colored fog. Soon something below begins to come into focus. I was slowly dropping to the surface of a world. The fog is thin enough to see through and there is very little color here, only different shades of browns and tans. Dropping closer, I briefly thought the fog was smoke because I saw countless dots of the vapor rising from the ground.

Getting closer, the trails of vapor formed lines. The fog is actually dust and rising from hundreds of well-kept lines. The lines remind me of blood vessels going off in all directions. These lines are made up of thousands of dots. Things would have been easier to tell apart if there were a variety in color. Approaching, I could see that the dots were moving up and down hills. They ran in and out of thick patches of dust in between the hills. As I approached, their forms became better distinguished. These were living beings; creatures made up of a leathery skin, much like the pachyderm. Their form is nothing more than disks stacked one on top of another.

I glided overhead watching them as they went through their routine. I could not see any other plant or other animal life. Here in this spot, there was only the ground and the creatures. I tried to determine if they were intelligent. Their movements are all much the same, like columns of ants but unlike ants, none seemed to be independent or drift out of their lines. I drifted in closer until only a few dozen were in my view. From here I could make out more detail. They all seemed to have had the same width and build, being made up of six disk segments. The bottom disk vibrated, moving them over the ground but also kicking up huge amounts of dust.

The outer edges of the middle four disks, were embedded in bone or a version of teeth. The bone or teeth, had a greater resemblance to the pachyderm toenails with dirty worn groves. I moved ahead of one of the lines, holding yards above them to see where they were going or coming from. The line was on a downward spiral around a hill. The path they traveled on had nearly the same width as the base of the creatures. Should one ever veer slightly out, it would meet its demise below.

As I move along the line, I studied the top disk of a couple of the beings. In the top disk are set six dimples, one in the middle and five surrounding it. The outer five are equally placed and centered between the middle dimple and edge of the disk. The beings’ outside dimples open sporadically, two at a time, one blowing out while the other sucks inward. I am guessing this is their version of breathing. I never witness the middle dimple open.

Continuing on, I see the passage, the beings and I are following, intersect with another running between two hills. From the opposite way come more of these creatures, but they are fatter. Instead of six disks, they have four but the middle two are bulging out and upward as if about to burst. Just before I float through the twin peaks, I notice two of the creatures come to an impasse. Instead of one stopping and allowing the other to pass, the six disk creature makes a hard left. This turn deliberately sends it off the path and over the edge of the cliff. I can barely see through the thick dust, but I can make out the result. The only way to describe the scene, is that it’s like dropping a watermelon off a high building down onto the pavement.

I am taken back by what has happened. Neither line so much as stalls, and I cannot understand the reasoning behind the act. I continued following the line. At the bottom, I saw what was causing the larger amount of dust. The six disk creatures are filing along the base of another hill. At this point, they press themselves against the wall as they move. Their nails press into the material and began their own vibration. The vibration was like a jack hammer chipping away at the stone. As this happens, the chips are caught between the two pairs of middle disks.

Their forms very slowly rotate clockwise as they chip at the wall. The chips and dirt are packed between the two pairs of middle disks by the beings’ vibrations. The upper and lower disk nails used as jack hammers now clamp together like a zipper. They then move over to the line of others hauling the material away. So in fact they all are made up of six disks which they can use for carrying. I drifted out to the flat area away from the edge, coming across the creature that threw itself over the side. Its remains were scattered and mixed among others that seemed to have done the same. They did not look to have any bone or organs that I can tell. They appear to consist of dark pinkish flesh and veins.

The veins were of different sizes and oozed a slow thick yellowish sustenance, apparently used as blood. Looking deeper, I saw the flesh was like coiled rope or cable; my guess is this must have been muscle. Gliding across the remains of others, it appeared that only the outer disks had burst open. The center always seemed to have stayed intact. I sailed over the carnage coming up on another line grinding away at a hillside. I watched, noting that the lines are always moving at the same slow rate. As the creatures take their turn at the wall, others passed until they found an open spot. Once the being becomes full, it moves out and another immediately takes the vacant spot.

I was close enough to one, so that when it pulled away from the wall, I was in the way. I shifted quickly around to the vacant spot the other had left. In turn another came in taking its place. In my astral state, nothing should happen other than my passing through it and out the other side. I skimmed upward, going through it from about the middle. As soon as I made contact, my entire consciousness stretched out in all directions. I felt myself take on a physical form that moved in lines of every direction. I tried to move my arms and legs but instead, I had hundreds, perhaps thousands of limbs. My mind became overwhelmed in chaos.

Moving what I thought was just one limb, sends dozens off in every direction. I feel my limbs start to break apart perhaps dissolving. Pieces fall away and yet as they do, my mind became clearer. Without so many limbs, and their makeup to control, I could get a better grip on my current surroundings. I settled into a single form and tried to move. My limbs now seemed to be combined in layers rather than hanging from my torso. I played with the thought of turning around away from the wall. When I did I felt myself move in sections from the top down to the bottom.

I felt a forceful tightening in my center twisting in on itself. Once the top part of me stopped, the core muscle snapped the bottom part around. I was dizzy and confused feeling like a drunk man. I went to walk a few steps, instead I leaned sending vibrations throughout my base. My bottom half slid forward catching up to the top of me. I was not able to counteract or stop the move, throwing me off balance; I toppled over. As I fell, the impact was soft, and I began to roll, on my side, on my back, it all seemed the same. I tried to place a limb down to stop the rolling, but one side of me went flat, bringing me to rest. I scanned around to see the creatures. Their formations were broken apart, most seemed to wander around aimlessly.

A circle of them gathered around me as I squirmed on my side. I wanted to sit back up, but I had no legs to pull under me or arms to lean on. To stand, I would need to collapse my top folds while squeezing fluids into the bottom base while bending from the waist. However, I had no waist; it was a center core. I went to move one way, but my body was telling me to move another. I then realized, it was not my body talking to me but another mind. I stopped trying to move and took in everything around me.

The lines of beings in my field of view had not only stopped their work but had broken apart. Some stood in place wobbling back and forth; others moved cautiously across the ground. Those around me, watched curiously. Curiosity sprang up in me also as an invading force, like the first time I ever experienced the emotion. I had the sensation of wonder, questioning and need. My mind opened like a flood gate as my memories and knowledge were being accessed.

As the being accessed my thoughts, I tried to get a glimpse of his. I became overwhelmed in some single emotion. From this point, I am lost for a description and have been for nearly fifteen years. The emotion was so alien it awakened me back in my own world. I lay on my bed, unable to move. The alien’s access of my mind had been broken, but the emotion filled every part of my body and mind. My body was physically paralyzed, trying to comprehend what I was feeling. I can go through every human emotion I’ve had and tell you none of them were it. It wasn’t pain; it wasn’t sadness, happiness, fear, on and on and on…

In the minutes that passed, I could reach up and turn on my lamp. The emotion began to subside, but I did my best to hold on to it. I needed to keep it in me as long as possible. I had to understand but my human mind did not have the ability, and it slipped away.

Post script;

In the fifteen years I have had to think upon these creatures and the emotion I experienced, I may have an idea, “Swarm Intelligence”. To understand where I am going with this, I am copying and pasting the following from, wikipedia.org. This explains SI, better than I could.

“SI systems consist typically of a population of simple agents or boids interacting locally with one another and with their environment. The inspiration often comes from nature, especially biological systems. The agents follow very simple rules, and although there is no centralized control structure dictating how individual agents should behave, local, and to a certain degree random, interactions between such agents lead to the emergence of “intelligent” global behavior, unknown to the individual agents. Natural examples of SI include ant colonies, bird flocking, animal herding, bacterial growth, and fish schooling. The definition of swarm intelligence is still not quite clear. In principle, it should be a multi-agent system that has self-organized behavior that shows some intelligent behavior.”

This is my opinion on the alien emotion I felt. Perhaps “Swarm intelligence,” is not just a term or an action, just maybe it is an emotion. Examples; most of our emotions lead to actions. When humans feel love, we pursuit what we are in love with. Feeling fear, we flee, happiness leads to laughter and anger of course leads to many other actions.

My guess is, insects have limited emotions, the SI being the most complex. Should one individual of a hive or colony come across something that breaks its routine, this emotion not only sets things into action but is signaled to the entire colony or hive.

Once I had entered and locked minds with the single pancake being, individualism was established in it, for the first time. Since it was already linked to the others through the SI emotion, they all got a taste of individualism.

When I had reached out to its mind, the only thing there was the single emotion. An emotion humans can not comprehend and whether it came from a pancake person or an earthly insect, it is still alien to humans.