lucid dreaming

Reality Checked

Reality check; a method of deducing whether one is in a dream or in real life. It usually involves an observation of some sort of sensory observation, usually visual. Most induced lucid dreams involve a reality check of some sort. A dream sign is a form of reality check that is more or less unique to the specific dreamer.- wikia.com

I have a few reality checks I do daily in order to get in the habit of running through them in my dreams. If the reality check fails, then I’m dreaming. My first is looking for words when I’m reading or on a bill board somewhere; I find this one works best. I glance at the words and the order they’re in and look away. I repeat them to myself and then turn back and re-read them; if they are in the same order than I’m awake, anything different tells me I’m dreaming.

Another is pictures and/or nature. I pick out several small details, turn away, think about the details and look back. If there are any changes, I’m dreaming, but not all dreams give me the benefits of these checks so I have yet another. This involves recall; if there is nothing to look at and take in the details, I think back from that moment I’m in and track my time-line until the moment, I woke that morning; so far, this has yet to fail me, until now.

I also used pain to see if I was dreamimg, for example, pressing the points of my keys into my skin somewhere. However, I gave this up  some twenty years ago when my dreams and out-of-body experiences became advanced enough to endure high levels of discomfort. Now I believe that I have reached another advancement in my dream worlds that go beyond the reality checks giving me something between dreams and out-of-body experiences.

Tuesday, February 16, 2015
I’ve come up with a new reality check idea. Whatever I have on me throughout the day usually goes with me into my dream states. I had thought about looking at the screen or pictures on the phone, but that would take too much time; pulling out the phone, putting in the password, and bringing up the screen or pictures. Besides, I’m always lying the phone down somewhere and in the dream world don’t recall the last time I noticed it with me.

I needed something that would be kept on me at all times and could be checked faster and easier—hence, a pocket watch. Other than my wedding ring, I don’t wear jewelry and hate anything strapped to my wrist. A pocket watch would be on me all during my waking hours; it’s also a quick and excellent source for reality checks. So today I went out and bought one. My new habit will be to check the time throughout the day, glancing at the time and second hand location, look away count to five and look back. Time should be the same but for five seconds later, but only if I’m in this reality.

I have mentioned before that my recall of the dream’s dialog is usually 90-95% accurate. Here, in this dream, I would place the dialog accuracy at 99% or higher.

Monday, January 19, 2015; Because of the nature of this dream, and a strong belief in the Multiverse theory, I am placing this under my out-of-body experiences.
I woke up in a strange bed, looking around and taking in my surroundings; I was in my parents’ guest room. There was a commotion in the living room, and I got up and dressed. Still very groggy, I left the bedroom to see what was going on. My wife was playing with two of my sister’s grandchildren, who were running around and screaming.

“You look tired,” my wife said.

“I could have slept longer if it wasn’t for the ruckus in here,” I told her.

“You stayed up much longer than usual. Go lie back down, and I will take the girls outside.”

“That sounds really good,” I said.

I turned and went back in the guest room, and not bothering to undress, I flopped down onto the bed. Just as I was dozing off, my father entered the room.

“You going to sleep all day?” he asked, which was more of a statement than a question. “I thought we were going to check out that new boat of yours.”

This made me perk up a bit, and I cracked opened my eyes. “I bought a boat?”

“Of course, that’s why you came down to Florida, to pick it up.”

“Why would I buy a boat?”

“You said you couldn’t pass up the deal on it,” he stated.

I thought back and recalled I had bought one, the marina selling the boat wasn’t too far from where my parents lived. My father slapped my leg. “Come on, you didn’t come all the way down here to sleep.”

I eased up, sitting on the edge of the bed. Stretching my body as I stood. I pulled my car keys off the dresser and proceeded out of the bedroom, and to the backyard where my wife and mother were. I told them that my father and I were heading to the marina and asked if they wanted to go. Both ladies declined, so my father and I left. The trip was about half an hour; I drove while my father navigated.

Just as we got in sight of the marina, traffic began to slow. I saw that there was an event going on with booths and water shows; this was where everyone was heading. After a few minutes, we made it into the parking lot. Finding a spot was going to be impossible I thought, but while passing through the front row a car was leaving. The driver backed out, and I pulled in. Prime parking gave me a view of the event and the water front.

“Front row parking, it’s going to be a good day today,” I informed my father. We got out of the car and looked around. I am not sure what was being celebrated, but the crowd was thick. This was the type of thing I always avoided, but not today.

“I’ve been here a couple of times,” my father said, “your boat should be over at that dock.” He pointed to our left toward the water, directly through the thickest part of the crowd.

The parking area we were in was on a hillside about twenty feet or higher from the water. The area directly to our left was another part of the parking lot but had been barricaded off for tents, kiosks and small activities for families. In front of us, a sidewalk separated the lot from a grassy area where a couple of yards down it split into two. The one walkway running down was ten feet wide and led to the waterside of piers, docks and small raised observation platforms. Further, down the boats were docked under a canopy that ran perhaps one hundred feet.

My father and I proceeded down the crowded walkway. A metal handrail painted bright yellow was supposed to direct traffic in opposite directions but today people seemed to be ignoring it. My father and I stayed against the handrail. As we had started down the grade, a man walking on the other side stumbled. Just as he had regained his footing, he said aloud, “I almost fell.” At that time, he stumbled again and did fall but in a fashion, which did not injure him. He seemed to take it in stride and laughed at himself. I laughed along with him and then stumbled.

As I caught myself at the last moment, I too said loudly, “I almost fell,” then bumped into a woman who was standing still looking up at the sky. I tumbled to the ground but softly on my hands and knees. My father laughed as did some others around us.

“That’s what you get for laughing at the other man,” my father said as he helped me back up. I glanced at the woman, not sure of who owed who an apology. She was still looking up at the sky in the direction behind me. I then noticed others looking also and more coming to a stop and staring. I turn and looked.

Because we were still on the hill part of the marina, I could see quite a bit of the town stretching out from us, but the sky caught my attention. Within half a mile of us and floating some 50 or more feet off the ground, were three silvery boxes about fifteen feet or more in diameter. I knew right away they could not be balloons due to the sharp right angles of their corners, so I guessed they must have been kites. However, I saw no ropes or guide lines holding them in place. Upon further inspection, I could make out things that may have been antennas.

“What do you think they are?” my father asked.

“I’m not sure. Something to do with the celebration I would guess.”

No sooner had I finished the statement when a loud boom filled the air. Before anyone could react or look for the source, the box on the left exploded in an ear-piercing blast. Pieces of the box showered the town below, some even making it to the marina. The crowd went silent and froze by the sight. Just as quickly as the explosion was over another boom sounded, this time I could see a military tank rolling down the street. The tank’s gun was pointed up, and another box exploded. From the left, a military jet streaked from the sky and was firing into the remaining box, but some unknown force caused the jet to come apart like the boxes but without the noise.

“Oh my god!” a male voice shouted, “We’re at war!”

“It’s terrorists!” a woman screamed.

More blasts could be heard from somewhere, and people began to rush around. For the most part, the majority of the crowd was running to the parking lot. My father and I had not moved and hung onto the rail to keep from being knocked over. I was still staring at the sky and picked out an elongated object in the distance. It looked to be a cylinder with skids on the bottom and a large disk at the front top. It seemed to be just leaving the side of one of the boxes and headed slowly across the sky when it was intercepted by a fighter jet. I could see the jet firing on the object, but once it got close, the jet came silently apart, its pieces tumbling to the ground.

“Those aren’t terrorists,” I yelled to my father, “that’s some technology we don’t even have.”

“You think it’s Russian or some other country?” my father asked.

“No, it’s alien,” I answered. Then it got me thinking. “Wait a minute,” I said, “I’m in a dream; this is all a dream.” I shouted.

“Son, this is not a dream, and I don’t believe in aliens.” my father countered.

“It’s a dream. I do believe in aliens, but I don’t believe this is an invasion.”

I looked around me for something to do my reality check on, but there was already so much going on that each second brought change around me. I went to my other strategy of reality checking. This involves retracing my time backward to when I awoke this morning. In this, if I can find any memory lapse, then I know it’s a dream.
I retraced back and forth quickly and recalled everything; I was awake. My anxiety level shot through the roof until my legs began to buckle.

“Oh my God, this is real! It’s all real,” I shouted to my father. “Oh God, oh God…” I repeated over knowing I was in shock. Something caught my eyes from the right, over the parking lot came a ship in a slow dive ascending toward us, along its port side followed an F-22 Air force Raptor. The ship was the same design as the one I had seen in the distance.

The main body of the ship looked to be made up of three interlocked cylinders, one on top and two on bottom, more than one hundred feet in length; each cylinder’s diameter was about ten feet. On top of the forward main body was a disk, five feet thick and forty feet wide. The disk sat back where a quarter of it hung over the front. The three cylinders tapered down and outward about five feet until it formed a small square hole less than a foot wide. Along the bottom of the ship, four skids protruded, two in front, two in back.

My attention fell back to the Raptor which stayed next to the port side of the ship. Both were moving too slow to stay up, and I quickly recalled thinking the alien ship must have the Raptor under some type of tractor beam. The ship along with the Raptor made a hard turn toward us, still in a dive. My thought was it had malfunctioned and would be crashing on top of us. Within a couple of hundred yards, small black boxes flew out of the front of the square hole from the ship. I say flew because they were fast but not enough to blur their view, also the only noise coming from them was the air they moved through. The small boxes quickly dropped down at a steep angle, their path right in line where my father and I were standing.

The handrail had us blocked, and I yelled at my father to lean in as much as possible. The blocks fell within inches or closer because I felt two of them brush my back. I heard them impact on the ground and waited for an explosion, there wasn’t any. I turned and looked down. The blocks penetrated the ground at only a couple of inches. A row of the blocks ran for several yards, and I looked back up at the ship. With the Raptor in tow, both turned right and upwards. I looked back to the blocks. Each one was around four inches wide and had landed at the same depth maybe two inches, and all spaced about eight inches apart. They all had a deep black color, but the interesting thing was how they had impacted.

Their path had run across the grassy area and the concrete walkway as if they had been planted there. There were no impact craters around them in the grass and in the walkway no signs of cracks. If anyone stumbled upon them, they would have thought the concrete had been poured around them. Fear and anxiety overwhelmed me to the point that I could not move. My left arm was grabbed and shook hard; I looked to see my fathers face pale but calm.

“We have to get out of here!” he yelled at me. I released my grip on the handrail as he pulled on me in the direction of the parking lot. I looked to the parking lot at the multitude of people in their cars fighting to flee. My feet did not want to move, and I looked down at them, willing them in my mind to obey. I could see the blocks running alongside of us, and something held my feet in place; it was a thought.

“Wait!” I shouted back to my father. “Don’t step on the blocks.”

“Why?” he asked.

“They’re not exploding and seem to be in some kind of pattern. They must be for some other purpose— we need to avoid them,” I said calmly.

Although my anxiety was spiking, I began to come to terms as to what was going on around me. Even if I had not been prepping for an alien invasion, it was still a “SHTF” scenario. I had to take control of the situation my father and I were in.

“We can’t take the car,” I told him. I pointed to the congested parking lot. “Nothing’s moving and all the roads are going to be just like that.”

I looked over to my car, which held emergency supplies in the trunk. I would be taking my chances opening it with the crowd of people in a panic. I was sure they would begin grabbing what I had.

“We have to get to the boat. Once we find it, you can get it ready, and I’ll come back for some things in my car,” I said.

“We have to get to the house; this waterway doesn’t go near there, and we have to get back to our family.”

“We’ll just get to the other-side and have to walk from there, but the roads are going to be useless.”

“I believe you’re right,” my father said. “If they finished prepping your boat, it will be there under that canopy,” he said, pointing down to the waterfront where boats were docked under the shelter.

The walkway had become almost empty as most everyone was in the parking lot and trying to leave. My father and I began a brisk run down to the docks. Along the way, the walkway took us through a small gazebo-type building that held drink and snack machines. I caught sight of another trail of the blocks the alien ship had shot out. It ran from the right corner of the building across to the far left corner. Here the blocks also looked to be molded only a couple of inches down in the floor. As I stepped over them, I took a look up at the roof. Neat, clean square holes formed in the roof  where the blocks dropped through, and square beams of sunlight shone down onto the floor. I called out to my father and pointed to the blocks, warning him to step over them. We continued through the other side and back out,trotting down to the water’s edge where the boats were docked. Under the canopy, we saw rows of empty slips; every boat had been taking including mine.

“Now what?” I thought out loud.

“Your boat may be in the back of the marina,” my father said, “That’s where the ones still being detailed are kept.” He pointed down the waterway in the direction of the end of the canopy. “I believe the pier here follows the marina’s length and around to the rear.” He took up the lead, and I followed.

We followed the pier which ran parallel with the shore about thirty feet out. Around a bend to the left, we hit a snag. The deck of the pier had been demolished and what was left were the pilings and their 2×6 struts connecting them together; about another fifty feet ahead, I could see several boats lined along a short dock.

“We can’t waste a lot of time going back and around again; we’ll have to make our way across the struts.” I informed my father. It was no big deal; the pilings were five feet apart, and the wood seemed sturdy enough to support our weight. My father took one side while I took the other. After about twenty feet, I heard my father grunt, and I looked over just in time to see him plunge into the water.

“Dad!” I shouted; he fell into the water and out of sight. I was just about to go in after him when he quickly popped back up.

“I’m OK,” he yelled while wading. He swam near the piling I was clinging to and looked up at me. “I’ll swim over to the shore and meet you at the boats,” he said.

Although I had heard him, my mind was transfixed on his eyes, the irises had turned nearly black so that I could hardly make out the pupils.

“Bill,” my father said bewildered, “your eyes.”

“Thy’re black,” I answered.

“Yes, how did you know?” he asked.

“Because so are yours,” I answered him. “Get to the shore Dad and we’ll worry about it later.”

He turned in the water and swam to the shore. I continued stepping from one piling to the other; they ended about fifteen feet from the dock of the boats. My father was already there and taking inventory of them.
“They’ve all been stripped of their gas tanks and batteries,” he informed me, “there may be some up at the maintenance building, we can go look.” he suggested and pointed to the large boat storage and maintenance facilities building some three hundred feet away.

My only way to him was to jump in the water or back track. “I’ll go get the car while you search the maintenance building for gas and a battery. We can then load everything onto a boat,” I shouted to my father, just as I was about to jump in the water.

My father saw me about to take a dive and yelled, “Wait!” I stopped and looked to him. “If you want to get to the car,” he said, “go back the way we came. To get to the parking lot from here, you have to go a round-about way which will take longer on foot.”

“OK,” I answered, “I’ll meet you back here.” He nodded, turned and headed to the maintenance building. I returned to crossing, once again on the struts between piling. Once back on the pier I took off in a hard run, and  coming around the bend I slowed to a quick walk. Some yards away a Coast Guard ship arrived and docked next to the pier where a had been dropped. Men and women of the guard were setting up some large gun. As I headed toward them, a female officer on the other side of the gun’s frame saw me and drew her side arm and aimed it at me.

“Stop right there!” she ordered. “Do not come any closer!”

I raised my hands, “It’s OK; I just want to pass through. I need to get to my car.” I made a couple of steps, and she cocked the hammer back.

“One more step and I will shoot to kill.”

“I’m not an enemy,” I shouted to her, “I just need to get to my car! It’s right up there.” I pointed behind her up to the hill where I could just see the front of my car.” While we shouted back and forth, the crew continued their rushing on and off the ship bringing parts and setting up the gun as if neither the officer or I were there.

“Turn around and go back the way you came,” she demanded.

“Lady,” I pleaded, “it’ll take too long to go around. Why can’t I just come through and be on my way?”
“Because I said you cannot pass through here. I don’t have time for this, go back now, or I will kill you,” she said.

“What the hell is going on?” a heavy male voice called out. I turned to see a man—a civilian—come down the ramp from the ship. He stood a good six and a half feet tall, close to sixty years old and dressed in a plaid shirt and blue jeans that were well worn. He was glancing between me and the officer. At the bottom of the ramp, his full attention fell on me.

I did not move but informed him that I just needed to get through and to my car but the officer holding the gun was being unreasonable. He stared at me briefly. “She can’t allow you through—you’re contaminated. You will have to go back, or you will be shot,” he said calmly.

“Contaminated with what?” I asked.

“Look,” the man explained in a laid-back tone, “you must have crossed over some blocks that the alien crafts are embedding everywhere. They send out a field that when you pass through not only makes you go blind but in making contact with anyone, causes them to go blind as well. You can’t come any closer, and you’re interfering with our work. I’m sorry but turn around now, or I will order the officer to kill you.”

“Blind, for how long?” I asked stunned.

“Don’t know, maybe permanent,” the man said with no concern in his voice. “You need to go.” he added.

I looked around only moving my head. It had begun to get darker. I had thought it was just the sun going down but when I looked, the sun was high in the sky. My only hope was to jump in the water now and swim across. I thought about my father and the need to get back to him as soon as possible. During those thoughts, I awoke from the dream.

Cougars vs Lions

I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole.” -C. G. Jung

In 1980, I lived in Summerville, SC. A friend and I had rented a townhouse together. At the time, I had a baby blue 73′ Cougar. Bobby, roommate and friend, liked it so much that he came across a brown one of the same year and purchased it. On one particular night, Bobby took his girlfriend out for her birthday to some fancy restaurant. Bobby did two things wrong that day. 1, He told me what restaurant he was going to and 2, I knew where his extra keys were kept for his car.

That evening my girlfriend at the time and I, went out to McDonald’s. We both made sure to order a lot, and then we ate in the car. After leaving McDonald’s, I drove over to the restaurant where Bobby and his girlfriend were dining. I took Bobby’s extra keys and moved his car to another space nearby. Since Bobby had backed his car in, I pulled it in. I then took all the McDonald’s trash out of my car and placed throughout Bobby’s.

That evening when Bobby got home, he banged on my bedroom door. He had to tell me of the incident that evening. Not only had someone somehow, stolen his car, but they only used it to go to McDonald’s and back. In 1982, Bobby had to move away. I never heard from him but, to this day, he has had a really great story to tell.

Other than the car and Bobby, the following dream has nothing to do with that tale. I just wanted to put it out there in case some day you come across my site, Bobby.

1981 (Unconscious dreaming)

Bobby and I had our 73′ Cougars behind a grocery store after closing. We had gone there to use some facilities the store had to wash our cars. Bobby finished before me and left. I finished sometime later and cleaned up my mess making sure to roll up the water hose. I got in and fired up the engine. Pulling out from the back, I drove around to the front by the right side of the store. As I entered the parking, something caught my eyes over to the left of me.

It was dark but for a few streetlights so at first I thought a truck was speeding my way. As the object passed by under one of the streetlights, I saw it was no truck but an enormous female lion. She headed directly for me. In reality and the dream, my cougar had a big block 429 police interceptor engine. I slammed the accelerator to the floor, and my car leaped ahead.

The lion’s speed was just fast enough to slowly gain on me. However, distance was in my favor. Moments later I came to the end of the parking lot. I had to make a hard turn to the left onto the main road. This briefly slowed me and also allowed the lion to cut across the parking lot to me. Once on the road I punched the accelerator, but the lion was on top of me.

She slammed her head against the left side of my car causing me to veer off the road. I swerved back on, keeping the pedal down. Even at my high speed she kept up. This time she opened her mouth showing teeth about a foot long. The car jerked as she sank her teeth into the rear. I snatched the car to the right and back to the left making her release it. I watched in my rear-view mirror as her front legs went down, and her hind legs came up.

I thought she had stumbled, but then she made an incredible leap. I saw her disappear from my mirror as she bounded over the car. I was expecting to her come over the hood but instead, I felt the impact of her large body slamming down on top. It sounded as if the car had exploded from her weight, and I jerked awake.

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Castrating Fear

In the following dream, I recall an accident at the age of twelve. The accident and description are both real.

Thursday, March 20, 2014; (Unconscious dreaming)

I was standing in an operating room in front of a gurney. There were three staff members on the side of the gurney across from me, behind them were six copper looking tanks. On the gurney before me was the surgeon instead of a patient. The surgeon claimed to have a way of healing diseased body parts. The parts of the body that were infected had to be cut off and soaked in a chemical bath for some time. Once the disease was gone, and the part was healed it could be easily reattached to the person. The doctor was explaining all of this to me because I had a disease he wanted to help me get rid of. I had been very skeptical so the doctor was operating on himself.

The surgeon was in the process of cutting off his own limbs. As they came off, his staff placed them in small tanks. Once the doctor was down to one arm, his torso and head, he explained to me that all would be soaked for one year. After one year, his staff would put him back together and reanimate him. I stood there as the staff removed his arm and head placing them along with his torso in the tanks.

A year later I found myself standing next to the doctor who had been recently reanimated and restored back to health. It was late afternoon on the corner of a crossroad. I recognized the intersection. It was a spot where I had been hit by a car at age twelve. Standing there in the dream, I relived the accident in my mind. An impatient driver in a dune buggy, accelerating around a car in front of him that had come to a stop in the road. He jestered to the stopped driver as he passed, his attention being bought back to the road by a sudden impact at the front of his car.

I recalled the sound of an accelerating engine and looked to my left. I only saw a glimpse of the car’s hood as my body was viciously slammed down on its top. Witnesses said I had gone through the windshield then made contact with the rear roll bar. This flipped me into the air and deposited me two lanes over on the side of the road.

As the doctor and I stood on the corner where I first entered the road on my bike, I looked across at the place my body had landed. On that spot stood a book store. I could just read a sign on the door, “Closed after hours.”

We need to get in the bookstore,” the doctor said.

But it’s closed,” I told him, pointing to the sign on the door.

You have the keys. We can go over, and you can unlock the door,” he suggested.

I looked at the spot the store sat, remembering when I had awakened sometime after the accident, I could only open my right eye. A friend’s mother was over me saying something but either I could not hear her or maybe did not recall what she was saying. I felt numb all over and tilted up my head. She pushed my head back down holding me still but not before I had had a brief glimpse. Most of my left sides were covered in blood and bent in odd angles. I looked back over to her, seeing one of her hands covered in blood and wondering where she had gotten it. Things went dark until I came to later in the hospital.

Standing there, I thought about the hospitalizations, the surgeries but mostly the many months of healing, rehabilitation and learning to walk all over again. My biggest memory was the pain; it was always there. Some worse than others but it was many months before it crept out of my body.

I don’t feel comfortable going across,” I informed the doctor.

I know you don’t; that’s why I am here. I can help you,” he assured me. “But,” he continued, “it’s going to take a lot of courage and trust from you.”

I knew he was talking about surgery but could not fathom what he would be removing that would help me.

What needs to be done?” I asked.

You’ll need to be castrated,” he responded.

In shock, I looked at him hoping he was joking. He looked back at me sternly.

It’s the only way I can help you,” he said. “The removal is only for a short time and when things are reattached, you will be much better.”

I looked back to the store and all the memories of that day many years ago. I wanted to get to the store. However, fear overrode any of those wants, but I knew the doctor was right. He stepped away from me and toward a parked car. He opened the door and looked back at me.

We need to go now if you want my help,” he said.

I’m not sure, how long I stood there, but eventually I walked over and got in.

My next recall was stepping out of my car from the passenger side. My wife drove me from the hospital back home. I got out and walked down the driveway.

Are you Ok?” she asked.

I’m fine,” I replied. “It’s just a strange feeling not having anything down there,” I added. I was given orders to keep my strength up by walking around and doing my regular activities.

I’m just going to roam around the yard for a while,” I informed her.

I’ll be in the house if you need me,” she said.

She went inside, and I took a few slow walks around the house. I was not in any pain or discomfort; I just could not get over the empty or missing sensation of not having any male parts. My friend and neighbor, Tom came over to check on me.

How long before things can be reattached?” he asked.

Several months before the disease is gone, then a couple more to begin replacing things. The doctor assured me I would be good as new,” I told him.

You think it will be worth it?” he asked.

I believe it will,” I assured him.

Defining the dream;

I am having some anxiety about making more changes with expandurmind.com, because of the effort, time and money they will cost. In the dream my unconscious is the surgeon, someone whom I trust and take advice from.

Dismemberment has many meanings, one of which is the removal of habits. In my case, the habit is a fear which in the dream is a disease. Dissecting it will remove the fear then put things back together to a much better state than before. The surgeon explains the operation to me, in this case the operation is my site, time and money. Dissecting himself convinces me this is a good thing and should ease my tension.

Most of the time a dream crossroad is the decisions we have to make. I am sure a bit of that is true here. However, it is also where my habit of fear started. Through the pain and suffering experienced in my rehabilitation, people did their best to calm my fears. If pain became too much they stopped. If I was afraid of falling out of my wheelchair or not being stable on crutches, I was not pressured. I learned quickly to let fear guide me until it became a habit, keeping me safe and most of the time stopping me from taking unnecessary chances. This fear is valuable to me and not easy to let it go of.

The book store is my mind, and all my ideas sit inside lined on the selves. The store will remain closed until I unlock the doors. Fear keeps me from crossing into that spot. The surgeon still at my side, tells me the only way to make it to the store is through castration.

When it comes to the sexual organs, it’s not always about sex or the organ. A lot of the time it’s about energy, expression or the things we refuse to let go of, such as fear. The surgeon explains that it would only be temporary. If I allow myself to be castrated, “discard the fear” I can move across the street.

Once I get used to living without it, I can have it reattached. I took my surgeons (unconscious’) advice and went through with the castration. My neighbor asks me if it was for the best. I confirm it is, which gives me the answers I sought out. Break the habit and set the fear aside, let it become a tool to use not a habit to guide me.

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Enantiodromia

Tuesday, October 11, 1994, the first time I encountered, “The Demon”. Since then I have had several experiences with him, all in other lucid dreams, this being the most recent. Although the dream is just over a year old, right around its year anniversary I made two discoveries; 1, Enantiodromia and 2, What or should I say, who “The Demon” is.

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” –Carl Jung

Tuesday, February 26, 2013; (Unconscious dreaming)

To avoid traffic, Murphy’s law, and for some chill-out time, I get to work rather early. On occasion I use the time to meditate or grab some shut-eye before work. At 6: 00 a.m. in the morning, my alarm woke me from my nap in the car. Looking in the rear-view mirror I noticed a co-worker’s truck parked behind me. We usually chat in the morning, but since he was not inside I figured he had an early call. I used the time to nap a few more minutes.

After I awoke, I thought, for the second time this morning I decided to get up and get my gear out of the trunk. Still seated in the car I looked around; it was still dark out, and my eyes seemed kind of blurry. Once I got things in focus I glanced into my rear-view mirror and noticed my coworker’s truck gone. It was odd that he had left the parking lot before work and hoped it was nothing bad. Out of my passenger window I saw an excavator. To the east of the excavator sat a pile driver.

These were things that had not been in the parking lot when I arrived. I looked around the rest of the parking lot and realized I was dreaming. Something in the rear-view mirror caught my attention, a was man coming towards me. He was just under six feet tall, white, and around 165 pounds. Although he had work clothes on, they were clean and pressed. His hair, mustache and a well trimmed beard were all black. His facial skin seemed pale and was heavily winkled like that of a strong smoker, but his face held a wide grin.

He was leaning over to his left as he headed toward the back of my car. In his hands, he was carrying a 250-pound headache ball. He held the ball by the hook, the hoisting cable connected to the end and I could trace it back to a crane one hundred feet or more behind him. His strength had to be incredible because the cable was being pulled off the drum of the crane. As he got closer to my car he looked into my rear-view mirror directly into my eyes. He bent down and I could feel something being attached to the rear of my car, I knew it had to be the headache ball.

I swung the door of my car open. Throwing my left leg out, I felt a tightening sensation around my waist and chest. My seat-belt, which I had taken off after I had parked now had me restrained. I reached over to the release button, but it would not let go. I felt the car jerk and heard the click of the ball attach to my car. I growled and forced my way out of the car, the seat-belt stretching out with me. It began wrapping around me trying to engulf my arms.

“This is just a dream!” I yelled out, ripping the seat-belt from the interior of the car. It fell to the ground.

I rushed to the back of my car, to see the man stand up. The headache ball was fastened to the hitch on my car. I reached down to unhook the ball. I struggled briefly with the cable and heard the roar of the cranes engine. Realizing the car would be snatched away at any moment I quickly stepped back. Like an animated cartoon, my car was snatched away and slung into the air by the crane s. It swooped through the air in a 180 degree swing and then embedded into an embankment, all in a blink of an eye.

I looked back at the man noticing that big grin on his face, it was then I knew who he was. This was the demon I had faced three or four times before. He turned to walk away, and I reached out and grabbed his arm. He tried to pull free, but I held fast to him. With my other hand, I grabbed the back of his shirt. We both began to struggle— him trying to break away, me not allowing him. We fell to the ground; I made sure of landing on top. I straddled his waist and pushed my left hand into his chest to hold him down. With my right hand free, I gave him two hard punches to the face, yet he kept his grin.

I swung down harder for a third punch to his face. Just as it was about to make contact he vanished leaving my hand busting through the pavement. I stood up looking at my hand. There was no pain or any sign of injury. I took a look around. My car which had been in the embankment was gone. The crane that had slung it there vanished before me. The other equipment faded away, then the parking lot, leaving me in darkness. I opened my eyes to find myself back in my car.

The first time I heard of Enantiodromia was just recently, near the end of February 2014. I could have gotten answers to all my questions on my demon years before had I placed more time in some dream research. However, better late than never. For the full article on my find and to learn more about Enantiodromia, click over to my website. I also have some new stuff you may be interested in.

Check out my website, http://www.williamtcarrolljr.com/

Current Lucidity

If you are carried away by a tidal wave, then it means you are ready to make a brand new start in a new place.” Dreammoods.com

Monday, March 11, 1996; (Lucid dreaming)

My wife and I, along with two of our sons and their half-brother, were playing along the seawall in our back yard. From hours of playing we became tired and sat on the neighbor’s seawall next door. We watched waves splashing against the wall. After some time, we noticed that the waves began to grow larger.

I thought it might be best to get to the house as the waves were cresting the top of the wall. We all stood and were suddenly shocked by the sight of a ten-foot wave that was coming at us. I yelled for everyone to run to the house. My wife and sons started to run, but their half-brother stayed on the wall. I stepped over, grabbing him up into my arms. I ran through the neighbor’s yard alongside his house. I glanced back to see the wave only a couple of yards behind us.

As I came up on the left side of his house, I looked to my backyard. From the left of my yard crashing down toward me, came a wave twenty feet in height. The two waves clashed together, swooping me and the boy up, then began receding back into the river carrying the two of us. Just as we were nearing the seawall, I grabbed the bush next to it and held on. The water rushed over us fast and hard. Although my grip on the boy was secure, I felt my hand slipping on the bush. Thoughts of where my wife and sons were filled my head, but I seemed strangely calm.

I should have been racked in fear but then lucidity came to me, and I knew I was dreaming. My hand held tight to the bush now, and I felt the pressure of the water rushing by. In all my water dreams, the more treacherous the water, the more fun I have. Even in non-lucid dreams, waves many stories high never cause any harm. I sucked the water in my lungs knowing I had nothing to fear. My body rocked with the currents, and I soon awoke.

Wake up

It’s really a disadvantage having an unconscious dream when those in the dream are lucid.

I have always been an early riser regardless of a workday or time off. I have a knack for being punctual, which sometimes places my wife and I at odds. She is a firm believer of being fashionably late. One  fear of mine is being late for work, which has happened once, maybe twice in the past ten years. Due to the distance, I drive one way to work; I give myself plenty of leeway. Most times I arrive an hour or more early so, I place my seat back and get in some meditation time. On a lot of these occasions, I have some pretty interesting dreams and/or out-of-body experiences, this was one of those mornings.

Thursday, January 9, 2014; (Unconscious dreaming)
I was driving through an unfamiliar town in the left lane of a three-lane street. The light ahead was red and there were at least a dozen cars in my lane but none in the right two lanes. I put on my blinker and got into the center lane. Just then a company van that had been ahead of me in the left lane, switched to the middle lane, cutting me off.

I blew my horn and went into the far-right lane. A car further up in the far left lane pulled out and in front of the van. The van pulled into the right lane cutting me off once again but this time nearly hitting me. We stopped for the light, the van in front and me behind. I went to get the information from the van logo on the back when the light changed, and the van sped ahead.

I wanted to catch up with it, but my car began to stall through the light. I pushed the pedal to the floor which caused it to sputter and jerk. After only a couple of seconds, the car lurched ahead. As I made it through the intersection, the van made a left turn into the driveway of a heating and cooling company. When I got out, I noticed that the driver had just stepped into the front office of the building.

A sign on the door said the office was closed over the weekend. I began writing down the information from the van when the driver came back out pushing a bicycle. The driver was a young woman in her early twenties. I informed her that she had cut me off twice back at the light, and I was going to contact her employer first thing Monday morning. She shrugged her shoulders and continued walking past me and down the driveway onto a circular sidewalk.

I yelled over to her, “You don’t care that your employer may reprimand you?”

No, nothing will happen,” she said.

Why’s that?” I asked as I was still writing down the information.

Because you’re dreaming,” she responded.

I looked up from my note pad over to the girl. She was standing facing me holding up her bike when she screamed,

WAKE UP!!!” Which startled me, causing me to wake back up in my car.

Lux

Friday, December 27, 2013; OBE

I was standing on a shoreline looking over an ocean. The water was calm and clear. The Sun that was setting on the horizon was much smaller than Earth’s Sol and was brilliant white. I could see the star actually sliding down the sky; this had to be due to the quick rotation of the planet.

The light of the star not only bounced hard off the water’s surface but filled the depths down to hundreds of feet, if not miles. It wasn’t a clear view but a hazy, beautiful, almost light blue. The light even came up to the shore, giving me a moment of confusion. The water line of a shore usually appears to wash over the beach, but here it looked as if the shoreline was washing over the water.

I was several yards away from the water’s edge, so I walked over to get a better look. As I neared it, I could start to see the underside of the shore. Only feet away, I now saw that this shoreline was not made up of water but glass. I heard the crunch of the sand as I stepped onto the surface. I bent down and ran my hand across the material. The feel was hot and solid.

I looked to the east and all I saw was a vast low desert. I stood up and faced the dropping sun. As the star touched the horizon, its light was magnified a hundred times through the glassy ocean. The light became blindingly bright, causing me to jerk my hands over my eyes.

I squinted into the glaring light. The star had completely set and the brilliance of it exploded into such brightness, that it pierced through my closed eyelids. Turning my back to the star, I opened my eyes only to find myself once again in my room.

Shh!

If you take a look on my website, you will find my personal dream definitions, ‘When reading my posts.’ Look at Lucid dreaming and out-of-body experience. I won’t give the full definitions here but there is a wide line between the two, most of the time.

The following dream is one where the line is very thin. I had got so caught up that I never thought of checking to see if I could control my environment or anything else for that matter.

It took the recall of an object to make me become lucid. In most all my obe’s, lucidity is there the moment I step in. Meaning this was just a very good lucid dream.

Sunday, August 22, 2013

I was standing inside a laboratory along with two other people, a man and a woman. We were all dressed in hiking clothes and standing next to a large metal door. In the dream, I knew that the laboratory was an experiment to see if we could open doors to other worlds. I’m not sure what my position was in the dream; however, the man and woman were scientists who had developed the technology.

The door was set away from the walls and only stood upright due to the framework that held it to the floor. Large cables and wires ran down the outside to computers along the walls and plain boxes that sat next to them. I had seen something like this before and was racking my brain, when it came to me. ‘Tilt‘, Tilt had been an out-of-body experience where a scientist had tricked me into going through a similar door that placed me in another world.

Because of this revelation, I knew that I was either in an out-of-body experience here or a dream. Not knowing which, I decided just to go along and follow the lead of the two scientists. One man placed his hand on a handle mounted on the door and pulled. The door swung easily open and through it was a thick lush jungle. Some fern-looking leaves hung through the door inside the laboratory.

The man pushed aside the ferns and the woman followed outside into the jungle; . After they had struggled through the growth and were several feet from the door, I went out too. I had made it a dozen feet or more when I turned and looked back at the door. I expected to see an opening from one world into the other. The foliage was so incredibly thick, it only looked like any other doorway that might be surrounded by trees and bushes.

The struggle to make some distance became too much, and our traverse had only gained us a few yards. Separated by just a few feet from each other, the man called out to me and the woman.

We need some tools to make a path through here,” he said.

Turning, we went back to the laboratory. Once inside the woman and man began discussing the best way to make a path. The woman suggested we could send a small drone up through the canopy to see how large the alien forest was. If it covered an entire continent, then a path would just be foolish. Looking at the still open door leading outside, I asked, “If we can go outside, can’t whatever is out there come in here?”

The man and woman looked at me then to the door and back at me. I closed the door; however, there was no way to lock it. For some reason, I turned around, and the room went dark.

I opened my eyes to the darkness of my room. “Oh great.” I said to myself. It was a dream, and I awoke too soon. The turning had been my body flopping over on its right side and had awakened me. I closed my eyes and drifted back off.

I was back inside the lab.

Through a door on the far side, the man and woman scientist came in with a couple of machetes and a hatchet. I seemed to be at about the same point in time I awoke from.

You’re not going to send up a drone?” I asked.

We are,” said the woman, “but first we’re going to have to find or make an area large enough for it to take off from.”

I thought about this and understood. The jungle was so thick, anything taking flight would have to go straight up first. The man held out the machete in one hand and the hatchet in the other.

You want to hack or slash?” he asked.

I reached out and took the hatchet. I was closest to the door, so I took a couple of steps over and pulled open the door. Looking out, I froze at the sight in front of me.

How long was I gone?” I asked them.

Outside starting from the foot of the door was not just a path but a road. Not a good road but it was about ten feet wide and just a few feet away, widened to at least twenty or more. The surface was a moist hard clay-looking material that had been stirred up by many boots and wheels. There was a thin fog flowing through the area, and everything was dripping in dampness.

We are somewhere else,” I stated. The woman pushed past me and stepped outside. She took a look around and shook her head.

No we’re not,” she said. She panned her arm to the left pointing at the forest. “I recall some of those trees. We are in the same place but some years ahead.”

She began to walk away from us. The man stepped out next, and I followed. We walked slowly due to the slippery surface.

To the left of us was a small mound running parallel with the road. Something was buried, pipe wiring, or something else. The road held a small incline for several dozen yards until we reached the top. It then took more of angle downward and perhaps five or more hundred feet away, was a crew laying pipe.

We took the long stroll down to the crew who stopped working as we approached. One of the crew, a man came up to us survey the superintendent.

Can I help you?” He asked politely.

Who are you people?” Asked the male scientist, “and how did you get here?”

We are the first staging crew.” The superintendent replied, “We laying out the pipe to the lake down there.” He pointed farther down to the road that lead to a large lake some miles away.

Once we get things up and running for water access, they can start the colonization process.”

How long ago was this planet found?” Asked my female colleague.

I’m not sure?” The super answered were her, “A little more than five years ago. Some scientist discovered it and had an exploration team check it out. After that it was deemed safe and people wanted to move here.”

What about any wild creatures in the surrounding forest?” She asked.

There aren’t any.” The super informed her. “None at all. No birds, bugs, creepy crawlers, nothing. Other than plant life the place is bare, at least until people start moving in.”

Thank you.” Said the man with us. He turned along with the woman and both headed back to the lab.

I fast stepped to catch up with them.

What’s going on?” I asked, “Did we somehow get transported to the future?”

Yes, but only here.” the male scientist replied. “Once we get back to the lab, we will be back in our own time.”

If we came out in the future, won’t the lab be replaced by whatever bought that crew here?” I wondered.

No.” Came the answer from the woman. “Everyone returns to their place of origin.”

I trotted alongside trying to understand it all when I awoke.

My eyes came open in my room and I laid there awhile festering. I hated it when my dreams were cut short and I could not get to the end or gather more information. I was finding it hard to get back to sleep so I used the time to quietly make a bathroom call. I came back to bed and soon fell back to sleep.

I stood inside what looked to be an office. There was a man in a suite sitting at a desk shuffling some papers around. He glanced up, noticing me he jumped to his feet.

Are you hear looking for a place or just want a tour?” He said smiling. Before I could answer he came around the desk over to me.

Here,” he continued while walking past me. I turned in the direction he had gone and caught sight of an over-sized metal door, the door that lead to the other world from the two previous dreams. The door stood wide open. Outside all signs of construction had been replaced by a wide pea-gravel path. Thick short bushes only a food tall outlined each side of the path. The forest still stood, other than the path, undisturbed.

The “Salesman” I was guessing stepped outside and turned back to face me.

Is this your first time here?” He asked me.

No,” I replied to him, “the last time was when the pipe crew was here.”

Wow.” He exclaimed, “That was years ago. Well a lot has changed.” He motioned me with his right arm to follow him, he then turned and began down the path. I stepped outside and quickly caught up to him. Just a few yards from the door the path split in to two. In read of going straight as where the pipe had been laid, we took a path that ran off to the right.

I do not recall if the salesman talked while we strolled down the path, my full attention was on the surrounding forest. So many trees and bushes that I could not see two alike. Everything was a deep green. The trees grew high but due to being crowded, the limbs stayed short, was my guess. What got to me the most was the silence.

I recalled the pipe superintendent telling us that this world was barren of any life other than plant. I had thought about so many other places I had been and how quiet they also were. Earth had to be one of if not, the nosiest planet.

The path began to slope downward. We had walked for some minutes when the path opened up to a green short grassy field. The field itself was only some fifty feet wide and ended in a cliff. The cliff was about one hundred and fifty feet high. This was easy to guess because it is about the same height as the seat in my crane.

The cliff overlooked a vast ocean with many small islands that sat only a few feet above waterline. The ocean itself was smooth as glass. On each island stood a plantation. Each held a home gardens and some buildings that my have been for storage or guest houses. I saw no boats or docks but one single road ran from somewhere below out over the water.

The road or bridge it should be called, almost touched the water and connected each island to the other.

Everything is so close to the waterline.” I mentioned, “One storm or heavy wind could drown it all. And what about the tides, or is this hide tide?” I asked.

None of the above.” The Salesman replied, “There is really only one weather pattern here. The planet obits its sun at an equal distance and the north and south poles, are parallel with the suns poles. There’s very little wind to speak of, no rain and only one season and it’s called warm.”

The last time I was here, there was thick fog and how do the forest thrive if there is no rain?” I asked.

Just before the sun rises, the morning heat pushes up a thick fog hundreds of miles wide and a couple of thousand miles in length north and south of the equator. It’s a permanent fog bank circling the planet. It’s very cool looking if you have seen the videos. The forest collects the moister dripping the excess on the ground. This turns into tiny streams that run together forming rivers some very massive. However, all of them streams and rivers only exist for about four hours in the morning.” he explained to me.

What’s the name of the planet?” I asked.

Shh.” He sounded.

I became quite and listened. After a few seconds I asked,

What are we listening for?”

Nothing.” he replied.

Okay. So what is the name?” I asked again.

Shh.” he sounded once again then broke out into a smile. “Sorry but, that gets everyone.”

What does?”

The name of the planet is, S-h-h. Shh.” he smiled.

Of all the names I could have thought of or up, how did that one make it?”

From all the expeditions and construction here. The place is so quite that people would talk to loud or think they heard something, so “Shh” was always a repetitive response, it just caught on.”

I could have thought of a lot of names but standing there I did think it was a unique name. I looked back over the ocean and the dotted islands.

This is a great place to live.” The salesman said. “Would you like to see some other land areas here? Most are very remarkable.”

Yes, I would.” I informed him.

I began following him back up the path that had brought here. Somewhere along the way, I woke up having to get ready for work, here in this reality.