Unconscious

3

To dream of clouds represents situations in your life which overshadow everything else. Noticeable or powerful distractions, delays, or disappointments. The number 3 in a dream may reflect chaos. There may be unpredictability in your life.-dreambible.com

Tuesday, April 28, 2015;Unconscious dreaming
I arrived at work sometime later in the day than my usual time. The sun shone out of a cloudless blue sky as I drove around the parking area several times but could not find an empty space. I called my boss to inform him of the problem I had while I continued to hunt for a spot. He told me I could drive over to one of our new offices at the south end of the yard and park in the driveway there. He stated that no one would be there today, and I did not have to worry about being towed.

I drove over to the building and found a small driveway in front and parked. I left my backpack in the trunk; it had been after lunch, and I would be coming back and leaving in just over three hours. Walking from the car to the office to check in took about five minutes. Within four minutes of my walk, something caught my eye to the northeast. I spotted a large cumulus cloud rising quickly in the distance. I could only see the top as one of the buildings was in the way; because of the speed at which it rose, my curiosity made me jog to get around the building.

In the clearing, I saw it was a mushroom cloud many miles away. What came to mind was a nuclear explosion, but I had not seen a flash or heard anything; however, the entire cloud was pure white. As I stood watching the cloud, people came to a stop and stared as well. Moments later, another white mushroom cloud rose a little farther north than the first one. Again, there had not been any flash or sound wave coming from either cloud, but I did begin to worry.

These clouds were not normal, and an eerie feeling began to overwhelm me. I turned and rushed back to my car. While I ran through the yard others began to panic also, even more when they saw me in a heated run. I made it to the building and turning the corner; I saw my car was gone. I rushed over to a guard shack a few yards down and asked if they had seen it. The guard informed me he had it towed because I had not had the decal for that area. I explained I had been given permission from my boss; he knew nothing about it.

I had to have my car, so there was no need to argue. I asked about its location and found to my relief, it did not go to a towing yard but a fenced in lot at the north end of the shipyard. Before I left, the guard informed me I would not be able to retrieve the car, all gates were in lock down. I could leave the yard but without the car. I left and rushed to the north end. I could do without the car if I had to, but I needed my backpack in order to make it home.

Along the way, I glanced over to where the last cloud had erupted to see yet another one blossoming up north of the second and just as white as the others. Guards were out in the streets directing workers away from the piers and to the mustering [emergency] areas. As I passed one of the guards, he shouted that I could go no farther in the yard and had to either report to my area or exit the facilities. I turned toward one of the buildings as if I were going inside. Instead, I ran around the back side and continued to the towing area; the three clouds continuing their rise into the heavens. Making it to the fence, I located the entrance. The gate had been chained locked, but I knew I could slip through.

Close by, another guard was directing people from the work areas; I ran over to him and explained I needed my car. He said that was impossible today especially with the emergency. I then asked if I could go inside to retrieve some things out of the trunk, I was denied. He ordered me to follow the crowd to our stations; I turned and rushed away. I went back to the chain locked fence, looking behind me to see the guard watching. I had no choice; I needed my supplies. I dashed under the chain and inside the lot, hearing the guard shout out after me. Once in, I ducked down hurrying between the cars hoping to stay out of sight and make it to the car before caught.

Every so often, I would have to stand and take a quick look for the car. I spotted the hoods of several white cars in different areas and headed to the closest one. I could hear the guard shouting for backup. I made it to the first white car— it was not mine. I slipped my head up again and found the next nearest one; that too was not mine. Third time was a charm and, staying on my knees, I popped the trunk. Reaching in, I pulled out my bag and tossed it on my back. I gathered some other things I may need and closed the trunk.

I could not risk being caught. I did not believe he would arrest me, but my bag may be confiscated. I made my way back toward the gate noticing a guard posted there, my only exit. I moved back among the cars and began making my way along the fence line in hopes of finding a way over or under. Somewhere along my search, I awoke.

Pets In A Cup

Thursday, April 2, 2015; Unconscious dreaming

I was out with a good friend, Cliff, who was helping me look for a pet at a department store. One of the staff pointed where the pets were, and I headed over to the aisle. I walked the aisle but all I saw were stores of large cups but could hear animal sounds, all in distress. Upon a closer inspection, I could see that the sounds were coming from the cups lining the shelves. A sign above the shelves read ‘pets in a cup’. On the shelves along the left hung a sign saying, ‘puppies in a cup’. On the right the sign read, ‘kittens in a cup’.

Looking back to the left, I could now see the cups held puppies of several varieties: Dalmatians, Rottweilers, Dachshunds and others. These puppies were at the age of just being weaned from their mothers. Their small forms were tightly packed and sealed in clear cups with minuscule holes in the tops for air. The kittens were the same. Another but small sign along the shelves stated, “Expiration date, 32 hours after packing,” which meant if not sold and released, they would die.

I became more aware of their small whimpering, and their bodies so tightly packed, they were immobilized. I could not take their suffering and reached up, grabbing the first cup nearest me. I ripped open the top and pulled out a Dalmatian pup and released it onto the floor. I then pulled the next cup off and did the same. Those I had not gotten to rose their voices pleading that I would get to them. My friend Cliff saw what I was doing and began helping in the rescue.

We had made it through the puppies and started on the kittens when the manager of the department store stepped into the aisle.

What do you think you’re doing?” he screamed at us. I stepped up and got into his face.

We’re releasing the animals from their suffering, and before they die,” I told him.

You can’t come in here and do that, it’s illegal. These animals are store property; I’m calling the police,” the manager shot back.

Go head,” I screamed, “because I’m calling PETA. This is abuse. You and anyone else involved will be going to jail.” I turned away and went back to ripping open the cups and pouring the kittens onto the floor along with the puppies. A movement caught the corner of my eye and when I looked, the manager had joined me and Cliff in freeing the animals. When I came to the last in line of cups, there sat a square box. Inside was an octopus packed as tightly as the others but due to his gelatinous body, his tentacles squirmed around inside slimming things up. Being out of his element, he had to be suffering even more.

I pulled the box down but could not locate the lid. I punched the box in four sides opening small holes. On the fourth hole, the octopus flung out his tentacles and used them to push against my chest. The force caused me to drop him before I could finish breaking open the box. On the floor, the octopus ran off in a bizarre scene which reminded me of the green aliens on the Simpson’s.

I finished my line of cups and saw Cliff and the manager working on the last ones. I looked around to find more and noticed a monitor used in store advertising. I walked over and looked at the display. On the screen was a documentary on the company packing the animals and their procedure. Top opened cages ran parallel on each side of a conveyor belt. Inside the cages, were the puppies and kittens separated with their own kind. On the belt rode a line of cups, above the cups hung robotic arms. While the pups and kits played among themselves, the arms reached down and would snatch up one of the animals. The helpless creature then got pushed into the cup unexpectedly causing their limbs to become distorted. It was bad enough been packed so tightly, but this would greatly add to the pain.

I could not watch anymore and felt bile begin to rise in my throat. I ran up to the manager and asked where the restrooms were; he pointed to the back of the store. I took off, hoping I could keep things down until I reached the toilet. At the back of the store I searched but did not find them. I found a salesman for the store and asked where the restrooms were; he said he was new and did not know. Just then Cliff ran up and said he had found them. I followed him as we ran down the back wall to a single door. Cliff threw the door open and I rushed in. I dropped to the floor sticking my head over the toilet. As I heaved, I awoke.

72

To dream of the number 72, may reflect feelings about how terrible it is to finally have to face conflict you don’t want to deal with. No longer being able to avoid a conflict.” dreambible.com. This dream would relate to an earlier dream; “It’s The Cowards Way Out.”

Sunday, March 1, 2015; Unconscious dreaming

My wife and I were going through a home we had just bought, unseen. The home was one story tall, and we entered through the front door which led into a large living room. The room was about twenty by twenty feet and furnished with a couch along both right and left walls. One each end of the couch was an end table with a tall lamp and simple white shade covering the bulb. On each side of the end tables stood large cushioned chairs matching the coaches. In the center of the room ran a coffee table from the first set of chairs to the furthest chair.

Directly across the living room was the kitchen, it too was quite large. In the kitchen all appliances ran across the far wall, along the right and left walls were six doors each. I walked over to the first door on the left and looked in. Inside ran a wide and winding hallway with doors along each side of the walls. I stepped in while my wife waited at the kitchen. I walked over to the first door on the right and opened it. The door opened to a large, well furnished bedroom. On the far side, I could see another door, which was opened to a full bathroom.

I went in and examined the room. It held a king-size bed with beautiful patterned bedding. The room was set up like a high end hotel. In the bathroom hung towels and a shower curtain, which matched the bedding. The sink’s counter was stocked with all the necessities such as soaps, shampoos and conditioners. I left and went back out into the hall crossing over to the next door. Inside I found another bedroom. This one also was fully furnished, although decorated differently than the first and had a full bathroom. I closed the door and walked over to the next door in line.

Again, I found another bedroom just as furnished as the other two with the full bathroom but the decor much different. Closing the door, I went to the next one and the next after that. In all, there were twelve bedrooms in this hallway; after my inspection of the last door, I returned to the kitchen. I informed my wife about what I had found and proceeded to the second door on the left side of the wall. Down the hall, I found twelve more bedrooms, six to a side. No two had been alike including the placement of the bathrooms which could be on either of the four walls, and the beds which in some rooms were twin beds.

My inspection of the other four doors off from the kitchen turned up the same; twelve bedrooms and bathrooms in each hall all neatly decorated independently. In the last hallway inside one of the bedrooms, I meet a cousin of mine, Kenny. I was surprised to see him and asked if he lived here. He said he did not but had heard I had bought the place and came to check it out. He informed me that the place used to be a bed and breakfast; I then realized why there were so many bedrooms. Back out in the kitchen we meet up with my wife, and I informed her of what Kenny had told me. She got excited and suggested we turn it back into a B&B at which point I awoke.

Entering through a door signifies new opportunities that are presented before you. In particular, a door that opens into the inside denotes your desire for inner exploration and self-discovery.

The hallway symbolizes self exploration. It is the beginning of the path that you are taking in life. You are going through a transitional phase and journeying into the unknown.

The bedrooms signify aspects of yourself that you keep private. If the bed is made, then it symbolizes security.

The bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to “relieve yourself”. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.

Your cousin in your dream represents something or some aspect of your character that is somewhat familiar.

6 hallways; The number 6 in a dream represents negativity. When you see it in a dream it’s pointing to thoughts, emotions, behaviors, or life experiences that are negative.

12 bedrooms in each hallway; The number 12 represents constant problems or the inability to escape conflict. Living with trouble. You may be surprised that a problem will never go away.

6×12=72

Dream references;

dreammoods.com

dreambible.com

One

The following dream is a good representation of my current life. I’ve broken down the meaning at the end.

Sunday, December 4, 2015

I was standing in the office of a former employer hoping to get hired back into the company. He handed me a photograph of an airport, the type that only allowed the flights of small planes. The background was thick with trees and the on the side closest was a field of green grass. From the camera’s view I could just see the long stretch of concrete that made up the runway. At the top corner of the page was scrawled $75,000.

“I need you to go look at this job and tell me if we can replace the runway for that amount,” my former boss said.

“Where is it?” I asked.

“Just go out to the road here,” he pointed to the door outside, “and follow it. It goes right by the airport. If you get me the information back by the end of the day you have the job.”

I handed the photograph back to him and left his office. It was early morning, and the sun had yet to rise. I walked over to my car which had a bicycle hooked onto the back. Since I had become such a health nut, I decided it would be better and more fun to ride the bike out to the site and take a look.

The bicycle had one wheel like a unicycle; however, attached between the seat and wheel was a bar that stretched out in front and curved upwards leading to a set of handlebars. I hopped on the seat and began peddling down the road, briefly battling to get the bike stable.

Once I had the bike in control I began to take in my surroundings. Even though it was dark I could still see quite a few yards around me. The road was smooth and narrow, lined with trees on the left and right, although the trees to the right were set further off from the road where there were some homes and small businesses. The sound of something bouncing through the woods to my left caused me to stop. Soon a deer jumped out into the middle of the road, spotting me; it came to a stop and stared to see what I was going to do. I was more shocked than the deer because of its deformity. The deer which, I soon saw was an antelope, had a normal head and small horns but a tiny body connected to a single leg in the middle of its torso.

Seconds after it had stopped, the antelope continued across the road to the right, bounding away on that single leg. Across the street was a small store, still closed, that the antelope ran down to. At the back of the store grew a short field of grass up to the trees. The antelope stopped at the edge of the grass and collapsed. He curled the single leg up under himself and rested. I stood there in the road staring at the animal, wondering how it could survive.

I had a job to do so I continued biking on down the road, leaving the antelope behind. Some time passed and daylight filled the sky. I was enjoying the biking, the solitude and the environment I was traveling through to the point that I had not realized it was late afternoon. I began to panic, wondering if I had passed the site, and hoping someone could give me directions, I stopped at a small convenience store to my right.

In the parking lot a mother and daughter were coming out of the store. I pulled up next to their car as they were getting in and asked if they knew where I could find the airport. The mother informed me that I had passed it many miles back. My job depended on my getting the information back to my boss that afternoon. By the time I could get back to the job site, my company’s office would be closed. I would have to make up the time by biking back as fast as possible.

I was just about to take off when I heard a couple voices calling, “Daddy” from behind. I turned to see my two sons, who are adults now, but in the dream were around five years of age. I explained to them what I had to do, and we needed to hurry back. My so-called hurrying was moving only as fast as my slowest son.

After a short time both began to whimper about the tiredness of their small legs trying to keep up. Both could not ride on the bike with me, so I figured I could carry one on my back at a time, allowing him to rest and then switch out every so often.

Coming to a stop, I realized I had my backpack on. I knew then it would be impossible to carry either one of them. I walked the bike and the boys to the side of the road, and we sat down in the grass to rest. I knew that by the time I got back to my car it would be late evening and my chances of getting the job were zero. My sons lay down in the grass one on each side of me and fell asleep. Soon after I awoke.

Defining the dream
Everything in an unconscious dream is a symbol to the clue of that dreams meaning. Every symbol also has several answers. How do you know which to choose from? Think of it as a mental puzzle. There are multiple on-line dream dictionaries, I just happen to like, dreammoods.com and use it 90% of the time. If I cannot find an answer there, I use dreamhawk.com and/or curiousdreamer.com.

I actually copy and paste the entire meaning of the dream. Then I go through each line and delete those that are not in my personality or have nothing to do with the current dream and keep what corresponds to the other symbols of that dream; it does take some time. If you have the patience to read through, the meaning of this dream and its breakdown (in order) is below. Regular print is copy and paste, edited from dreammoods.com. Italics in parentheses are my notes.

To stay true to my audience, I’m not being totally forthcoming in defining this dream. A few meanings I kept out because they are very personal, and I’m not ready or wanting to divulge them here.

Work- Dreaming that you are at your former work suggests that there is an old lesson that you need to learn and apply to your current situation.

Photograph- To see a photograph in your dream means that you are clinging on to some false hope. Consider who or what is on the photo. The image may be trying to take you back to a particular moment in time. (The airport in the photo was one my parents lived by when I was 14. Check out my editorial in, “Day of the dragonfly”).

Numbers-To see numbers in your dream symbolize that you need to evaluate a situation more thoroughly. Numbers also carry much personal significance to only you.

(always break numbers down, 75,000)
7- The number seven may also refer to the seven chakras (I need to be more in tune with my energies).

5- The umber five may reflect a change in your path or that you need to alter your course.

0- Zero symbolizes emptiness. You are experiencing a void in your life. Your actions have been counterproductive.

(add up each digit of numbers)
7+5+0+0+0+0= 12
12- Represents cycles and repetition.

1+2=3- Three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, creativity, energy, self-exploration and experience. (a good description of my energies)

1- Signifies solitude or loneliness. (The one road I traveled, the bike with one wheel, the Antelope with one leg).

Bicycle- (the reason I called this a bicycle and not a unicycle, is due to it had handlebars). To dream that you are riding a bicycle signifies your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. If you have difficulties riding the bicycle, (one wheel) then it suggests that you are experiencing anxieties. You need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation.

Road- (this fits the description of the road in my dream). To see a road in your dream refers to your sense of direction and how you are pursuing your goals. If the road is dark, then it reflects the controversial or more frightening choices which you have made or are making. If the road is smooth and bordered by trees or flowers, then it denotes a steady progress and steady climb up the social ladder. If the road is straight and narrow, then it means that your path to success is going as planned. To see an unknown road in your dream represents a path that has not been ventured. You are setting a new precedence for something.

Antelope- To see an antelope in your dream suggests that your high ambitions will only be achieved through a great expenditure of energy, (the 7 chakras). You will experience much success as a result of your dedication.

Children- To dream that your own grown children are still very young indicates that you still see them as young and dependent. You want to feel needed and significant.

Modern Rocketry

Wednesday night at my house is pizza and comedy night. I bring home a large veggie, with extra tomato sauce from Papa Johns, and the wife and I chill out in front of the television. We watch the comedy line up; In the Middle, The Goldberg’s, Modern Family and Blackish.

So it isn’t surprising that sometimes when my consciousness is relaying a message that some of these characters would show up. Of the four shows, I would relate to Phil Dunphy on Modern Family. For those unaware of the character; (1)Phil Dunphy sees himself as the “cool dad.” He dotes on his wife and constantly tries to find ways to bond with his kids. He has a childlike attitude, very confident and always full of new ideas.

2014/12/10 Wednesday; Unconscious dreaming
It was night time, and I found myself outside with Phil Dunphy a.k.a actor Ty Burrell on Modern Family. He was building a small orange rocket about five feet in length and one foot in diameter. We were putting the three-stage rocket together in his driveway; once it had been completed he directed me to help set it in a frame.

The frame sat in the middle of the driveway, and to each side in the grass were binders and straps. As Phil pulled one of the straps over the front of the rocket, he asked me to do the same on the rear. I cranked down on the binder until the strap was good and tight. I noticed the ground was kind of soft and said something to Phil. He told me not to worry—he did this many times before.

Afterward, I followed him into the grass far left of the driveway. In his hand Phil held a small box with a single button in the middle. He pushed the button, and the rocket fired. The thrust was incredible to the point of the rocket began to bow in the middle. I saw the rear anchor on the far side begin to pull out of the ground. I pointed this out to Phil, who began to get a worried expression on his face.

The thrust became more powerful, and the rear anchor gave way. The front was still tied down, and it flipped over, releasing itself from the frame. The two of us could see right away the rocket was on a trajectory for us.

“IN COMING!” Phil screamed.

We dropped to the ground as the rocket flew over our heads missing us by inches. As the rocket passed we rolled to our backs and sat up. The rocket shot across a road and over a field. Grazing in the field was a large stag with its back toward us. The rocket, staying level with the ground, hit the stag directly in the anus. Without stopping or slowing, it launched the stag across the field and into the woods beyond until out of sight.

“My rocket, my rocket!” Phil yelled.

He leapt up and ran from his yard out into the field in hot pursuit. I followed behind until I was across the road then stopped before entering the field. I turned and walked back toward the house. Just as I got back into the yard, I heard a loud scream of panic. I turned looking in the area of woods Phil had gone. He was now running hard and fast back home, screaming all the while.

Just as he made it to the road, I noticed a lion, twice the size of a normal one, bursting from the woods coming toward us. I turned and began to run for the house in hopes of getting inside. Only yards from the door, Phil passed me slamming into my left shoulder. Although it did not slow him down, he caused me to be knocked to the ground. I scrambled to my feet hearing the breath of the ferocious beast upon me. I had just begun my run back when I was pounced on, awaking me.

If you are new or missed any of my posts, I mentioned before that I was planning on publishing an e-book based on my dreams. The dream here is about the problem I’m running into, mainly the layout of the e-book. The following breakdown of the dream is mostly copy & paste from; dreammoods.com, plus a little editing.

Having a dream that takes place at night represents some obstacles in achieving your goals. You are being faced with an issue that is not so clear cut.

An actor represents your pursuit for pleasure. Consider also who this actor is and what characteristics you associate with him.

The rocket indicates that your plans or ideas will soon be taking off in a big way. You are experiencing a higher level of awareness. All your hard work is paying off.

Orange denotes hope, friendliness, courtesy, generosity, liveliness, sociability, and an out-going nature.

To dream that you are tying something represents your network and connection to others.

Depending on the context of your dream, the stag could mean grace, agility, regeneration and growth.
Seeing only the tail of an animal in your dream signifies annoyances and complications in a situation where pleasure was expected.

A lion symbolizes great strength, courage, aggression and power. You will overcome your difficulties.

(1) Wikipedia, Phil Dunphy

Cougars vs Lions

I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole.” -C. G. Jung

In 1980, I lived in Summerville, SC. A friend and I had rented a townhouse together. At the time, I had a baby blue 73′ Cougar. Bobby, roommate and friend, liked it so much that he came across a brown one of the same year and purchased it. On one particular night, Bobby took his girlfriend out for her birthday to some fancy restaurant. Bobby did two things wrong that day. 1, He told me what restaurant he was going to and 2, I knew where his extra keys were kept for his car.

That evening my girlfriend at the time and I, went out to McDonald’s. We both made sure to order a lot, and then we ate in the car. After leaving McDonald’s, I drove over to the restaurant where Bobby and his girlfriend were dining. I took Bobby’s extra keys and moved his car to another space nearby. Since Bobby had backed his car in, I pulled it in. I then took all the McDonald’s trash out of my car and placed throughout Bobby’s.

That evening when Bobby got home, he banged on my bedroom door. He had to tell me of the incident that evening. Not only had someone somehow, stolen his car, but they only used it to go to McDonald’s and back. In 1982, Bobby had to move away. I never heard from him but, to this day, he has had a really great story to tell.

Other than the car and Bobby, the following dream has nothing to do with that tale. I just wanted to put it out there in case some day you come across my site, Bobby.

1981 (Unconscious dreaming)

Bobby and I had our 73′ Cougars behind a grocery store after closing. We had gone there to use some facilities the store had to wash our cars. Bobby finished before me and left. I finished sometime later and cleaned up my mess making sure to roll up the water hose. I got in and fired up the engine. Pulling out from the back, I drove around to the front by the right side of the store. As I entered the parking, something caught my eyes over to the left of me.

It was dark but for a few streetlights so at first I thought a truck was speeding my way. As the object passed by under one of the streetlights, I saw it was no truck but an enormous female lion. She headed directly for me. In reality and the dream, my cougar had a big block 429 police interceptor engine. I slammed the accelerator to the floor, and my car leaped ahead.

The lion’s speed was just fast enough to slowly gain on me. However, distance was in my favor. Moments later I came to the end of the parking lot. I had to make a hard turn to the left onto the main road. This briefly slowed me and also allowed the lion to cut across the parking lot to me. Once on the road I punched the accelerator, but the lion was on top of me.

She slammed her head against the left side of my car causing me to veer off the road. I swerved back on, keeping the pedal down. Even at my high speed she kept up. This time she opened her mouth showing teeth about a foot long. The car jerked as she sank her teeth into the rear. I snatched the car to the right and back to the left making her release it. I watched in my rear-view mirror as her front legs went down, and her hind legs came up.

I thought she had stumbled, but then she made an incredible leap. I saw her disappear from my mirror as she bounded over the car. I was expecting to her come over the hood but instead, I felt the impact of her large body slamming down on top. It sounded as if the car had exploded from her weight, and I jerked awake.

Check out my web page; expandurmind.com

Castrating Fear

In the following dream, I recall an accident at the age of twelve. The accident and description are both real.

Thursday, March 20, 2014; (Unconscious dreaming)

I was standing in an operating room in front of a gurney. There were three staff members on the side of the gurney across from me, behind them were six copper looking tanks. On the gurney before me was the surgeon instead of a patient. The surgeon claimed to have a way of healing diseased body parts. The parts of the body that were infected had to be cut off and soaked in a chemical bath for some time. Once the disease was gone, and the part was healed it could be easily reattached to the person. The doctor was explaining all of this to me because I had a disease he wanted to help me get rid of. I had been very skeptical so the doctor was operating on himself.

The surgeon was in the process of cutting off his own limbs. As they came off, his staff placed them in small tanks. Once the doctor was down to one arm, his torso and head, he explained to me that all would be soaked for one year. After one year, his staff would put him back together and reanimate him. I stood there as the staff removed his arm and head placing them along with his torso in the tanks.

A year later I found myself standing next to the doctor who had been recently reanimated and restored back to health. It was late afternoon on the corner of a crossroad. I recognized the intersection. It was a spot where I had been hit by a car at age twelve. Standing there in the dream, I relived the accident in my mind. An impatient driver in a dune buggy, accelerating around a car in front of him that had come to a stop in the road. He jestered to the stopped driver as he passed, his attention being bought back to the road by a sudden impact at the front of his car.

I recalled the sound of an accelerating engine and looked to my left. I only saw a glimpse of the car’s hood as my body was viciously slammed down on its top. Witnesses said I had gone through the windshield then made contact with the rear roll bar. This flipped me into the air and deposited me two lanes over on the side of the road.

As the doctor and I stood on the corner where I first entered the road on my bike, I looked across at the place my body had landed. On that spot stood a book store. I could just read a sign on the door, “Closed after hours.”

We need to get in the bookstore,” the doctor said.

But it’s closed,” I told him, pointing to the sign on the door.

You have the keys. We can go over, and you can unlock the door,” he suggested.

I looked at the spot the store sat, remembering when I had awakened sometime after the accident, I could only open my right eye. A friend’s mother was over me saying something but either I could not hear her or maybe did not recall what she was saying. I felt numb all over and tilted up my head. She pushed my head back down holding me still but not before I had had a brief glimpse. Most of my left sides were covered in blood and bent in odd angles. I looked back over to her, seeing one of her hands covered in blood and wondering where she had gotten it. Things went dark until I came to later in the hospital.

Standing there, I thought about the hospitalizations, the surgeries but mostly the many months of healing, rehabilitation and learning to walk all over again. My biggest memory was the pain; it was always there. Some worse than others but it was many months before it crept out of my body.

I don’t feel comfortable going across,” I informed the doctor.

I know you don’t; that’s why I am here. I can help you,” he assured me. “But,” he continued, “it’s going to take a lot of courage and trust from you.”

I knew he was talking about surgery but could not fathom what he would be removing that would help me.

What needs to be done?” I asked.

You’ll need to be castrated,” he responded.

In shock, I looked at him hoping he was joking. He looked back at me sternly.

It’s the only way I can help you,” he said. “The removal is only for a short time and when things are reattached, you will be much better.”

I looked back to the store and all the memories of that day many years ago. I wanted to get to the store. However, fear overrode any of those wants, but I knew the doctor was right. He stepped away from me and toward a parked car. He opened the door and looked back at me.

We need to go now if you want my help,” he said.

I’m not sure, how long I stood there, but eventually I walked over and got in.

My next recall was stepping out of my car from the passenger side. My wife drove me from the hospital back home. I got out and walked down the driveway.

Are you Ok?” she asked.

I’m fine,” I replied. “It’s just a strange feeling not having anything down there,” I added. I was given orders to keep my strength up by walking around and doing my regular activities.

I’m just going to roam around the yard for a while,” I informed her.

I’ll be in the house if you need me,” she said.

She went inside, and I took a few slow walks around the house. I was not in any pain or discomfort; I just could not get over the empty or missing sensation of not having any male parts. My friend and neighbor, Tom came over to check on me.

How long before things can be reattached?” he asked.

Several months before the disease is gone, then a couple more to begin replacing things. The doctor assured me I would be good as new,” I told him.

You think it will be worth it?” he asked.

I believe it will,” I assured him.

Defining the dream;

I am having some anxiety about making more changes with expandurmind.com, because of the effort, time and money they will cost. In the dream my unconscious is the surgeon, someone whom I trust and take advice from.

Dismemberment has many meanings, one of which is the removal of habits. In my case, the habit is a fear which in the dream is a disease. Dissecting it will remove the fear then put things back together to a much better state than before. The surgeon explains the operation to me, in this case the operation is my site, time and money. Dissecting himself convinces me this is a good thing and should ease my tension.

Most of the time a dream crossroad is the decisions we have to make. I am sure a bit of that is true here. However, it is also where my habit of fear started. Through the pain and suffering experienced in my rehabilitation, people did their best to calm my fears. If pain became too much they stopped. If I was afraid of falling out of my wheelchair or not being stable on crutches, I was not pressured. I learned quickly to let fear guide me until it became a habit, keeping me safe and most of the time stopping me from taking unnecessary chances. This fear is valuable to me and not easy to let it go of.

The book store is my mind, and all my ideas sit inside lined on the selves. The store will remain closed until I unlock the doors. Fear keeps me from crossing into that spot. The surgeon still at my side, tells me the only way to make it to the store is through castration.

When it comes to the sexual organs, it’s not always about sex or the organ. A lot of the time it’s about energy, expression or the things we refuse to let go of, such as fear. The surgeon explains that it would only be temporary. If I allow myself to be castrated, “discard the fear” I can move across the street.

Once I get used to living without it, I can have it reattached. I took my surgeons (unconscious’) advice and went through with the castration. My neighbor asks me if it was for the best. I confirm it is, which gives me the answers I sought out. Break the habit and set the fear aside, let it become a tool to use not a habit to guide me.

Check out my website, http://www.williamtcarrolljr.com/

A Well Worn Path

“Prayer is speaking to God, meditation is listening to God.”-

Anonymous

I don’t spend a lot of time on my knees asking for guidance. Most of the time it’s when I am out and about as part of multitasking. I usually get most of my prayer questions received as answers in dreams. I have read where some mystics talk directly to God in their meditations or dreams. I believe God is talking to me in some of mine. However, instead of spelling it all out to me, he throws out the letters in the form of dreams. It’s up to me to place it all in order.

“Paths” are usually his biggest hint that a dream is from him, and if I want the answer, figure it out. Once again, I am going to make some changes in my on-line journal. One of those changes will be posting every two weeks. Rushing in order to get a post in each week is taking away from the quality of my writing. I also have some other big changes in store.

The following dream not only shows me I am on the right path but leads me in a direction I was hoping to go, I’ll keep you posted.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014; ( Unconscious dreaming)

I was standing on a worn dirt path, some sixty or more feet wide. The path was pitted with deep pot holes. The holes were all roughly the same size and depth resembling giant foot prints. I could not imagine what kind of creature would have such large paws. I tried to recall how I had gotten here, but my mind was a total blank beyond the time I had arrived.

Nothing seemed to exist in my mind, including who I was. A noise caught my attention, and I looked down the path. It curved off to the left disappearing into the woods. The noise was like that of a horse quickly exhaling but far deeper and louder. Several deeper exhales came through the trees, some echoing over each other. I began to see movement in the form of large gray patches showing from the openings in the pines, soon moving out from the trees into the opening.

Many yards away stepped out a Tyrannosaurus. It stretched its head high into the air and sniffed, exhaling loudly. Its head swung from side to side as if trying to locate some smell. From the trees behind him walked out four more. The group stopped behind the one in front. None were looking at me, just yet. I stood motionless.

“Shh…” came a sound in my ear, and a hand rested softly on my right shoulder.

“Remain quiet and follow me, slowly but do not put your back to them,” the whispered voice directed me. The hand on my shoulder urged me back, and I walked backward never taking my eyes of the herd of Tyrannosaurus’. Moving off the path and leading me behind some trees, the person, a man, motioned me with his finger to follow him.

We walked softly through the woods, picking up our pace further away from the dinosaurs, although we never ran. After a while, we stepped out into a small western looking town.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Libertarian square,” he said.

Since my worries about being eaten had gone once we came into the town, I finally got a good look at the man who had rescued me. Since I did not know who I was or what I even looked like, I had no idea that my rescuer was me.

“How did you find us? “ he asked.

“I don’t know. My only recall of anything is when I found myself on the path out there,” I informed him.

“No worries, you can stay here as long as you like,” he told me.

“What is this place?” I asked.

“We’re a libertarian community. There are several dozens of us living off the land throughout here.” He waved his arm out over the city toward sparsely open fields in the distance. I saw homes and crops surrounding to just past the edge of the town.

“But what about the dinosaurs?” I wondered.

“They rarely bother us,” he said.

“Seems they would be coming to the town seeing how there are people around to munch on,” I mentioned.

“This used to be their land; however, once we established ourselves here, most of the larger wildlife moved deeper into the woods,” he explained. “The Tyrannosaurus are really dumb. We can hear them stomping through the woods toward us. We then go inside and remain quiet. Once the things see there is nothing here, they go back to the path.”

“Do they stay on the path?” I asked.

“Yes. It works out pretty well for all of us. You see; they made the path which surrounds us for miles. They cannot catch the wildlife through the outer forest. So, what happens is the wildlife sneak over the path at night to feed in our fields. In the morning, they rush off. As they cross the path in the daytime, the dinosaurs catch and eat them.”

“That’s pretty awesome,” I said. “But does anyone ever leave here?”

“Sure, some of us. When we need things we can’t grow or make here. Other then that, it’s very peaceful and fulfilling.”

I followed him up to the dirt street that ran between the buildings of his town. We passed a couple which he did not point out until we were almost in the center.

“That’s our general store,” he said pointing to our right at a wide building. His hand swung to the left at another building. People were going inside along with the man I was with. I followed him up to the steps inside.

“This is our town hall,” he said. “We hold all our meetings here.”

The interior had an old rugged but clean look to it. The main room was bright with electric lights running in rows down the ceiling.

“You have electricity?” I asked.

“Everything is solar,” he replied.

I followed him to the center of the room where we took seats. There were less than a dozen people inside and a woman with thick curly blond hair sat in front of me.

“What is going on here?” I asked.

“Whenever someone new arrives, we have a town meeting. Since we have a potential for growth in the community, we need to make adjustments.”

“Adjustments to what?”

“Wherever needed to make sure the community’s quality of life stays on the right path. This way, our longevity is guaranteed.”

There was a man up in the front standing at a podium. I could not hear what he said but when he finished talking, the woman in front of me stood and faced us. She was in her late thirties or early forties and stood perhaps five-eight or five-nine feet tall. Her polite gaze was directed to me.

“Everyone here has a voice because everyone is part of the whole community. We all have something to offer,” she smiled and sat back down.

I thought about what she said, and I had said moments ago about the community’s quality of life. Then a thought came to me, was it, me or the man who had made the comment? I looked to the left of me, and he was gone. To the right of me, the man I had found on the path also was gone. I then realized I had been both. Things around me went dark, and I realized I was in my room awake.

***

Path
To walk through an open path in your dream signifies clarity of thought and peace of mind. It also symbolizes your progress. (This would have to do with the path I want to take my website.)

To see a blocked path in your dream denotes that you need to give serious attention to the direction you are heading in your personal and/or business life. You need to take time out to consider and rethink the consequences before acting on your choices. (I took the two weeks since my last post and decided I could give more quality work if I reduced my postings to every other week.)

Potholes

To see a pothole in your dream represents difficulties and setbacks in achieving your goals. You need to make some changes in how you approach your goals. (To me this backs up my decision on posting every other week. giving me more time to dedicate to my online journal.)

Tyrannosaurus-Rex

To see tyrannosaurus-Rex in your dream symbolizes your biggest fears.

(Reading the dream correctly I believe this is all pointing at my blog and the direction I want to take it.)

Five

Five in a dream has a lot of representations; persuasiveness, humanity, senses, a link between heaven and earth and a few others. One that best fits the dream would be, “a change in your path or a need to alter course.” I took the altering course since that is what I did on the path. I’ll also throw in a small part of, “a link between heaven and earth. Mainly to emphasize a message being sent to me.

Yourself
To see yourself in your dream is a reflection of how you act and behave in your waking life. Consider what you are doing and how you are feeling in the dream for additional significance. (In the dream I am helping someone in need or more to the point, looking for answers. This points to aonther avenue I want to my journal down.)

Community
To have a sense of community in your dream means that you need to nurture your relationships with your family/friends and develop new ties. Perhaps you need to look at expanding your network of friends. (When it comes to the dream as a whole, I look at the community; friends/family as my readers. The need to develop new ties.)

Wake up

It’s really a disadvantage having an unconscious dream when those in the dream are lucid.

I have always been an early riser regardless of a workday or time off. I have a knack for being punctual, which sometimes places my wife and I at odds. She is a firm believer of being fashionably late. One  fear of mine is being late for work, which has happened once, maybe twice in the past ten years. Due to the distance, I drive one way to work; I give myself plenty of leeway. Most times I arrive an hour or more early so, I place my seat back and get in some meditation time. On a lot of these occasions, I have some pretty interesting dreams and/or out-of-body experiences, this was one of those mornings.

Thursday, January 9, 2014; (Unconscious dreaming)
I was driving through an unfamiliar town in the left lane of a three-lane street. The light ahead was red and there were at least a dozen cars in my lane but none in the right two lanes. I put on my blinker and got into the center lane. Just then a company van that had been ahead of me in the left lane, switched to the middle lane, cutting me off.

I blew my horn and went into the far-right lane. A car further up in the far left lane pulled out and in front of the van. The van pulled into the right lane cutting me off once again but this time nearly hitting me. We stopped for the light, the van in front and me behind. I went to get the information from the van logo on the back when the light changed, and the van sped ahead.

I wanted to catch up with it, but my car began to stall through the light. I pushed the pedal to the floor which caused it to sputter and jerk. After only a couple of seconds, the car lurched ahead. As I made it through the intersection, the van made a left turn into the driveway of a heating and cooling company. When I got out, I noticed that the driver had just stepped into the front office of the building.

A sign on the door said the office was closed over the weekend. I began writing down the information from the van when the driver came back out pushing a bicycle. The driver was a young woman in her early twenties. I informed her that she had cut me off twice back at the light, and I was going to contact her employer first thing Monday morning. She shrugged her shoulders and continued walking past me and down the driveway onto a circular sidewalk.

I yelled over to her, “You don’t care that your employer may reprimand you?”

No, nothing will happen,” she said.

Why’s that?” I asked as I was still writing down the information.

Because you’re dreaming,” she responded.

I looked up from my note pad over to the girl. She was standing facing me holding up her bike when she screamed,

WAKE UP!!!” Which startled me, causing me to wake back up in my car.

Let me break it down for you.

My unconscious dreams usually hold some meaning such as an answer or an awareness I have overlooked; in this dream it’s the second. It takes me some time to decipher the answer because I break the dream down. When going through my dreams I factor in people, places and things. Numbers are important also because they represent so much. If something has an odd or overwhelming color, that is a clue to checking the color’s meaning.

One person I talked with only looked up what she thought was the most important parts of her dreams. One dream she had mentioned brought a negative outcome about her personality. She left out the numbers of objects and their unusual colors she had seen. After I broke it down further for her, the meaning gave a more positive outlook.

I have broken my dreams down for you before in posts, but I would like to give you an example of how I dissect them. Give it a try, but if what you are doing now works for you, stick with it!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013, (unconscious dream)

I stepped out onto my front porch taking in the surrounding weather. It was a beautiful day sometime in the spring or summer. It was morning time due to the sun being a few degrees from the horizon in the east. I walked down into the yard around to the east side of my home. Coming around the corner, I noticed two crows made a nest on the ground. Between the two huddled two nestling’s.

As I came upon the birds, startling them, the parent crows flew off while the nestling’s hopped from the nest. With each bound the nestling’s flapped their little wings frantically trying to fly. I was upset that I had startled them and tried my best to corral them back to the nest. The birds found the way under the bushes along my house. I left them alone in hopes that once I was gone, they would settle back in their nest.

Proceeding to walk back to the front of the house, I glanced down and noticed a movement in the nest. One side of the nest was covered in fur. I reached into the nest and stroked the furry surface. The fur quivered violently. I snatched my hand back and took a better look at what I had just touched. Instead of running, the animal, which turned out to be a small raccoon, curled up tightly inside of a hole it had borrowed into the side of the nest. We had been having a problem with one or two raccoons in the house, to the extent of bringing in an exterminator.

This must be where it or they were going when they wanted to hide,” I guessed. For some unknown reason I stood and walked back into the house ending the dream.

In the morning when I had time, I jotted the dream down and quickly looked up the meaning behind raccoon. I then posted it to my twitter account. Later when I had a chance to look up the meanings, it seemed raccoon did not make sense. Thievery, secrets and deceit were what I was looking at. This was not in my character nor anyone I would associate myself with.

I never did see the raccoon’s face so perhaps I was wrong. Seeing raccoons in the yard may have made me think of them; however, we had had a problem with a rat and had called an exterminator. So I went with the rat and found it better suited the meanings.

I start from the beginning of the dream and run the course. Each of the following symbols holds multiple meanings. Instead of filling up pages of quoted text, I picked out what best describes me, and the events in the dream, discarding things not associated.

Crow; The crow may be conveying a message from your subconscious. For more clues, pay attention to what the animal was doing or any particular characteristic that stood out. –Dreammoods.com  (When the crows felt threatened, they fled the nest/their home.)

I looked up the number four because there had been four crows but only one of everything else. Four; Order or organization in your life—perhaps you have it, or you could use more of it. –The Curious Dreamer

Four; Also the four elements (earth, wind, fire and water). –Dreammoods.com

Nest; To see a nest in your dream signifies comfort, safety, protection.-Dreammoods.com

Rat; Resourcefulness, easily adaptable, or a survivalist. For those of you who do not know me personally, I am a prepper (I don’t have any underground bunkers or a stash of weapons but, I am prepared for most emergencies).

For more clues, pay attention to what the animal was doing or any particular characteristic that stood out.- The Curious Dreamer

While others where fleeing, the rat was “hunkering down” in its nest/home. I had touched the rat, running my finger across its soft fur. Because of that sensation of touch, I looked up fur.

Pelt or fur; Protection from or fear of an undesirable social experiences or harsh environment.

A need to feel powerful over one’s environment. Primitive attempt at self-preservation. This explains my prepper personality.

The message (crows); my subconscious is trying to tell me something. There could be a few things here; 1) A couple of days before the dream, a water main broke down the street. Through the night time, bitter cold and rain, our city crew had the pipe dug up and replaced in just a few hours. As a prepper, my home (nest) is the first line of defense should any type of emergency arise. My subconscious may have been telling me to check my Pantry. This would be my family’s life line should we have to hunker down (rat) during some emergency.

Upon my inspection, I found we were low in one item, water (four). I was slacking up and needed to be more organized (four). Unconsciously, my mind knew where I needed improvement.

2) This may leave some rolling their eyes, but stranger things have come about from my dreams. Just suppose like animals that flee right before a natural disaster, our minds pick up on the same experience.

Crows; conveying a message from the subconscious (the dream).

As I approached (a threat), the crows flee their home.

The Rat (me), in the same area as the crows stays in his nest/home.

Myself (the threat) touches the rats pelt (Protection from undesirable social experiences or harsh environment. Primitive attempt at self-preservation). Afterward I left, leaving the Rat unharmed because he stayed safe in his home.

Then there is option;

3) The water, may be a coincidence. The warning that some catastrophe may be near, a figment of my imagination and the entire dream, just a dream. I leave it up to you, the reader.